Jessica Fox

hey, if your wife is into you publicly ogling other women, you guys enjoy that

it’s just disrespectful, man

very sweet, thank you 🥹

Agree but I have had more flights cancelled in Chicago due to weather than I can count

I made a typo because my brain was woooowoooweeeewooooing too hard

It’d actually very easy. It’s when the brain goes woooowoooweeeeewoooo

I didn’t realize until now that my bellybutton feels like a Forbidden Zone, but I plumbed the depths and it did not feel good

Maybe I’ll just switch to looking at bugs instead of reading

Yeah, I really liked A Short History of Nearly Everything but I’m getting down about how every time I read a book lately, there’s something weird about women in it. Even topics that you’d think they couldn’t manage it, like physics or philosophy or neuroscience, it’s incredible

I had read A Short History of Nearly Everything and he managed not to mention utterly delectable teenagers in it so I thought this would be smooth sailing

I bought a new book and started a bubble bath and was so excited, and 5 pages in, I shut the book and went, “Ah, well, never mind.”

The guy just said, hey, maybe this would explain her reaction, and said nothing negative about you, and you can’t handle hearing another perspective? Geez.

British people make snacks sound so delicious. Do I want a packet of crisps? A PACKET of CRISPS? Incredible. Mouth-watering. Yes, please, a packet of crisps sounds life-changing. Oh, it’s just a bag of chips.

🤣🤣🤣

It’s happening again

Yeah, I want to be so wrong it makes people SICK

The phrase, “That’s a common misconception” is supposed to make you feel better but what I hear is, “Not only are you wrong but you are wrong in the most plebeian and unpoetic way possible. You are, to me, confirmation of materialism and the lack of a human soul.”

Oh dang