Hostess Life

I would like to formally request to make seating charts mandatory in every restaurant.

I could not care less that it is your birthday/anniversary/first date/special night/first time here/favorite place/every other excuse.

Mother's Day will be the death of me

If you don't get out of my space, I'll kill you.

It's really hard to be excited for holidays when you know you'll be at work the entire time.

When you get bitched at for something another hostess did.

Do people understand that if we reserved our tables nobody would have anywhere to sit until every reservation came in????

dirty tables are not open. dirty tables are not open. dirty tables are not open. dirty tables are not open. dirty tables are not open.

There are some customers that just come in to fuck shit up.

Moment of silence for all the coworkers that got out of this hell hole we call work.

"Would you mind taking our picture?" Actually, yes. I do mind.

"It shouldn't be more than a 15 or 20 minute wait" LOL such a lie

The amount of times I quit during a shift is laughable.

Now that I am a broke college student, I better be getting all the good shifts when I come home for breaks.

"We usually sit at that table..." "That's nice. Enjoy your meal!"

If you're going to succeed as a hostess, you need a fake laugh.

If you think that restaurants really close when they say they do, you're wrong.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET THAT MUCH FOOD ON OUR MENU?!?!?! do you use it ask a napkin? wut the fuck

When u allow a normal customer to bitch at u for not giving them the table they want because u know a regular is coming in&they scare u more

How do you put "sit the fuck down and stuff your face with our over priced food" nicely?