Geo.K retweeted
The only problem with dating younger girls is how much optimistic they still are towards life generally,talking about I want to travel and see the world. Hiyo naye inachosha. There are things a young girl will mention and you just know this one has not seen anything,and its pointless to explain because she wont understand where Im coming from. Thats why I prefer slightly older women who have seen what the real world looks like,they dont have much light left in their eyes. These ones life has twangad them a proper one they only have a small pie of delusion left,hawa huwa hamsumbuani
Geo.K retweeted
If you live in Nairobi, you know there are three places where your financial discipline goes to die: Westlands, Karen, and the 500-metre radius around Yaya Centre. Yesterday, at around 4:30 PM, I decided to take a quick walk down Argwings Kodhek Road. My mission was simple: drop off a document, buy two bananas, and head straight back home. Total projected expenditure: Ksh 100 maximum. Confidence 😁💫
Just outside Yaya Centre, an old acquaintance from campus spotted me. Linen shirt tucked into zero-fatigue trousers, driving a clean KD-series SUV, with a smartwatch blinking every three seconds.
"Bwana Barack! It's been ages! Let's grab a quick coffee right here across the road!"
Now, if someone in Kilimani says "quick coffee," run. That is not an invitation for beverage consumption; it is a financial trap.
We walked into one of those high-ceiling cafés where the menu has no currency symbols, just single numbers like 750, 1,200, and 2,400.
Before I could even open my mouth to order ordinary tea with clear hot water, my guy had already summoned the barista.
"Give us two iced hazelnut lattes, extra oat milk, and those almond croissants."😭
For the next 35 minutes, I was subjected to high-level corporate storytelling.
"We just closed a seed funding round in Mauritius."
"I'm thinking of picking up a two-bedroom unit on Chania Avenue for short-stay."
"Kilimani traffic is crazy, but honestly, the lifestyle convenience is unparalleled."
I'm nodding, smiling, and adjusting my posture like a venture capitalist, while secretly, inside my head, my M-Pesa balance of Ksh 1,430 is sweating uncontrollably.
Then comes the moment of truth. The waiter brings the receipt holder: Ksh 3,850.
My billionaire friend reaches for his leather wallet, opens it, looks at his cards, and then checks his phone.
"Ah, boss, system ya bank yangu iko down. Let me just tap my card... wait, declined? Ah, network errors in this spot are wild. Bro, check this for me quickly. I'll M-Pesa you the moment we walk out to the parking."
Guys.
That is how my Ksh 100 banana run turned into a Ksh 3,850 rescue mission.😭😭
As we walked out into the Kilimani evening rain, he stepped into his SUV, waved gracefully, and said, "Legend! Let's do this again next week!"😭
I am currently sitting in my house sipping tap water. If you see me anywhere near Yaya Centre this month, please call the police. I am a victim of Kilimani character development.🤕
You could have kept Jude on the bench and make Madueke work for that position. Let them fight for the starting XI. Hapa hakuna permanent residents, ni performance ndiyo inaongea. Even the captain reports to the badge.😂
After kuokota hio pesa yote huwezi afford badge?
Mzae wake ni nani since the son was still young, sasa hapa naona ni kama the wife alikua amejipanga kiGachagua alikua ameacha watu wakumpea intel on how he's doing, but nikiangalia hii pande ingine naona ni kama kijana pia imeona imekula ngumu sana na babayake ni millionaire,,,,
Geo.K retweeted
Another day to remind you why you should FEAR WOMEN, true strory,my unc alikua hawa wase wa kuweka lorry mchanga back then and he had a wife and a kid at the time but later they got blessed wi6 another son so they had 2 sons, the first born tulikua age mates ata shule we used..
to be in the same class, but one day waliletana juu na hao wasee na wakavurugana mbaya sana to a point alikatwa kichwa na ile kijiko ya mchanga since ziukua sharp sana,, luckily he survived but he stayed at KNH for 2 months,sasa Immediately after the accident...
