Jeff Bartha

The people that say “HAPPY NEW YEARS” Are the same people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”

Please don’t invite me to a white elephant party.

The @newbalance online customer experience has to be one of the worst interactions I have ever had. I accidentally ordered a womens size 11 instead of a mens. THERE IS NO CANCEL ORDER BUTTON...I emailed them 5 times... they are shipping them to me for me to just send them back!

Only in LA- “my cleaning lady couldn’t come, she just had her boobs done.”

Cold apple > room temp apple

Skittles are just gay m&ms

I love a big salad

Why are airplane seats so uncomfortable . Would it kill them to use some memory foam?! @JetBlue

. @Zoom Hello...It is saying my account has been deactivated and I submitted multiple appeals for a few days. How can I gain access back to my account?

78% of people at the airport are dressed in what looks like various forms of pajamas

Enough with the pup cups, I don’t need to see your dog trying to lick whip cream out of a tiny cup.

People dress like it’s Halloween to go to a concert 🤷🏻‍♂️

How come chicken is chicken and fish is fish. But cow is beef and pig is pork? 🤷🏻‍♂️

Has it always been “Jonas Brothers”? I have always said “The Jonas Brothers”.

Do we really still have to say “bless you” every time someone sneezes?

Out: Not using arm holes on jackets In: Using arm holes on jackets

I have no idea what 86% of people are dressed up as.

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Your mustache looks ridiculous

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