Dating apps in your 40s “oh wow I was AT his first wedding!” (Swipes right)

Here for @Tim_Walz as he’s giving proud dad watching his kids vibes during @POTUS tonight ❤️❤️❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I am personally offended by the sheer numbers of people who do not have portrait lock engaged on their phone and my question to them is HOW DO YOU LIVE?

At the @Brewers game and it’s wild how fun baseball can be when a team actually hits the ball cc: @Twins

I’m not a mom but today my boyfriend’s 12 yo referred to me as a “parent” and man my heart grew 1,000,000 sizes. Honestly, I’m just honored to be part of the village!

If there is a football on the ground, rest assured that any man will pick it up and start throwing it around because they “played in high school” and then will proceed to pull a hammy and/or crash into something/someone when attempting to “go long!” Every. Single. Time.

I’m in Florida and it’s 86° and sunny, but, I mean…it’s still Florida, so…it’s not…great.

Going on 4 hours on hold with @Delta -wild Friday night

Who’s got a lead on 20mg adderall extended release? I’m out at the end of the week and I can’t find a pharmacy that has anything in stock. #adderallshortage

Dear @IKEAUSA @IKEATwinCities: a v impt question my bf’s incredibly amazing 12yo kiddo after I asked if she wanted to join my trip there this evening: “I LOVE IKEA! CAN WE PAY THEM TO LET ME JUMP ON THE BEDS BECAUSE IF I HAD A BUCKET LIST THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY THING ON IT” So?

Things people do on tv or in a movie but not in real life: - show up at your house uninvited and ring the doorbell - throw something breakable when they are mad - talk on speakerphone while driving in a convertible on the highway

My guy’s 12yo is so funny/creative/imaginative & we improv together all the time. Asked if she wanted to take a class & she got this look and said “ok but I DON’T want to be a Story Samurai!” 😂😂😂 Thank you @AbbottElemABC @quintabrunson @janellejcomedy @ChrisPerfetti

.@LindsayGuentzel thoughtfully included me in her quest to bring insight and understanding around #ADHD through @RefocusedPod with @ADHD_ONLINE. Being diagnosed at 42 gave me one of the best self-awareness nuggets of my life. Maybe it could resonate with you or a love one, too.

There is just something magical about listening to 12 year olds giggle together

Can you guys tell me if the local NBC affiliate where you are is *also* airing the 1997 Super Bowl 31 - @packers vs @Patriots - right now?! or is this an #OnlyInWi thing? @visitmilwaukee #mkemycity #milwaukee #mke

MPLS: On 6/29 my ‘17 @Kia Sportage was stolen dayside from my bf’s house in Howe (after 2 failed attempts in 30 days). It’s been in the shop since. Then, this past Sunday morning, my @genuinescootco Buddy 50 was stolen from right outside my house in Hiawatha. I GIVE. I GIVE UP

on a board meeting while my partner is cooking dinner for us. i mean what a lovely regular moment of life right? man oh man its the mundane moments of life that make me love this man more and more every day. sorry twitter, I'm too lazy to actually write this in my journal