Joseph Murphy

I've just realised the Silence of the lambs books are set in Baltimore. The police must spend half the time dealing with the East Baltimore drug trade, and the other half dealing with eccentric Europeans who turn people into furniture.

'An indecent modest proposal.' An essay about a rich billionaire who pays an improvised Irish couple $1 million to spend a night eating their children.

"England has no hope now. We're completely and utterly doomed." "C'mon it's only football." "Football?"

I was really disappointed in my coffee today. I asked to see the Pret a manager.

Universal Credit aphorism "Be the change you want to see in your pocket."

I'm giving up tea for Len

Comedy is ASMR for depression

When Billy Joel forgets the lyrics to Uptown girl: "Uptown girl She's been living in her uptown girl I bet she's never had an uptown girl I bet her momma never told her "uptown girl." And when she ups in her girl, girl up up girl..."

"I stayed at a lovely hotel in Siberia. 5 stars." - Doctor Trivago.

Germany said it's not in their interest to get involved in the Ukraine/Russian conflict. It wasn't in anyone's interest last time Germany got involved in Ukraine/Russia.

"I'm still Spanish. Sí sí sí." - El' Ton John

The Internet: "You weren't online today so we've signed you out of all your accounts because fuck you. Here's a captcha test."

I read Cormac McCarthy novels to barnyard animals. Why was the chicken cross? The Road.

Roses are red, violets are red. The screen is red. I died in Goldeneye.

2021 was a year. It had 365 days. Some days were good :) Some days were bad :( Today marks the yearly end. God Bless Xx

What's the deal with airplane food? Where even is the plane's mouth?

Hook has one of the most absurd premises for a film: 'A workaholic 90s lawyer is actually the Victorian Peter Pan from the play.' If any other actor had played Peter it would be beyond the suspension of disbelief, but played by Robin Williams, it's perfectly plausible.

I got fired from my job as a film director. I tried to leave without making a scene.

The bowling alley screen when you get a strike.

The spiderman song from someone who doesn't know what a spider is: "Spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can. Swims the sea, fights with claws. Hunts in packs, mighty tail. Watch out. Here comes the spiderman."