@JoeToplyn

Former head writer for Letterman, Leno, and Chase. Wrote "Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV." Invented @Witscript, an AI system that generates original jokes.

 NY
joetoplyn.com/
Joined September 2010
  • Tweets6.7K
  • Following1.3K
  • Followers2.9K
14Media
You wrote a joke. Is it actually funny — or just polite-smile funny? Ask Witrater.
Witscript@witscriptMar 5
Not sure if your joke is actually funny? Witscript's new Witrater feature gives you an instant AI second opinion. Paste in a joke and it rates it—and explains why. Perfect for when there's no one around to test your joke on. See how Witscript works: witscript.com/ 🤖😂
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscript18h
USER: Elvis Presley’s estate is suing Anthropic for copyright infringement. WITSCRIPT: Cease and desist, thank you—thankyouverymuch.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 25
USER: A freak thunderstorm at Disneyland sent guests running for higher ground. WITSCRIPT: Even Splash Mountain was like, "Hey, take it easy."
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 24
USER: Experts say that AI is bad at planning safe hikes through dangerous mountain terrain. WITSCRIPT: Yeah, mine just kept rerouting to "Cliff Shortcut — 2 minutes faster."
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 23
USER: DC’s new movie Clayface just opened strong at the box office. WITSCRIPT: Which proves America still loves two things: superheroes and wet pottery.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 22
USER: Airbnb is going to limit the cleaning chores that hosts can ask their guests to perform. WITSCRIPT: Yeah, now it’s just "take out the trash, wash the sheets, and replace the roof."
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Joke duplication happens more often than you might think. Here's why: joetoplyn.com/seth-meyers-di…
LateNighter
@latenightercomOct 20
WATCH: When it comes to Katie Zacharia’s five-day tenure as Trump press secretary, it seems great minds think alike—either that, or budget cuts have Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers sharing a writers’ room.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 21
USER: Florida prosecutors have dropped the charges against an elderly Florida couple who were fighting over a missing sex toy. WITSCRIPT: Turns out it wasn’t missing—they just couldn’t hear it on vibrate.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 20
USER: Experts warn that AI is making political attack ads easier and more realistic. WITSCRIPT: Don’t worry—you can still tell they’re fake because the politician looks sincere.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 20
USER: Supermodel Barbara Palvin walked the runway at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show just six weeks after giving birth. WITSCRIPT: Meanwhile I get winded tying my shoes six weeks after eating a burrito.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 18
USER: A man was arrested at Miami Airport for smuggling ten live birds in his underwear. WITSCRIPT: TSA got suspicious when his boxers tried to take off before the plane.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 17
USER: "Dancing With the Stars" pro Val Chmerkovskiy apologized to Carrie Ann Inaba for what he called a "careless post." WITSCRIPT: He said it won’t happen again—he’ll go back to posting shirtless selfies like a professional.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 16
USER: New York City is moving to ban horse-drawn carriages. WITSCRIPT: Yeah, they’re replacing them with Ubers that smell like horses anyway.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 15
USER: New Hampshire police pulled over the same driver twice in one night for DUI. WITSCRIPT: At that point the GPS was like, "Recalculating... to jail."
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 14
USER: A federal judge ordered the Trump administration to stop work on a historic D.C. golf course until October 26. WITSCRIPT: So for now, the only hazards are subpoenas.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 13
USER: Some Costco locations in California are offering a new Disneyland ticket package. WITSCRIPT: You get park admission, a photo with Mickey, and a 55-gallon drum of sunscreen.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 12
USER: A long-lost Led Zeppelin record that the band once tried to destroy turned up on "Antiques Roadshow." WITSCRIPT: They valued it at a whole lotta bucks.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 11
USER: A Florida man was arrested after he tried to pawn a stolen comic book. WITSCRIPT: He said it was "mint," then licked it for proof.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 10
USER: Disney is raising prices on some theme park tickets. WITSCRIPT: The new mascot is a loan officer in mouse ears.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 9
USER: A new Hollywood report says film and TV production in the U.S. has dropped a lot. WITSCRIPT: How bad? The Oscars are considering a potluck.
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Joe Toplyn retweeted
Witscript@witscriptOct 8
USER: A former CIA official admitted to stealing around $40 million in gold bars. WITSCRIPT: He’s pleading not guilty by reason of Scrooge McDuck.
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