Johnnyfa

A random person complimented my muscles today. So you guys get this one for free.

Electronic Dance Muzak

The coolest person you know is working on their travel itinerary to Bosnia.

Fuck nosejobs. We love a strong nose

Just thought about boobs (unrelated but DMs are open)

Reminder to take that boys trip to Kosovo

Indie rock? More like indie cock

Long term athletic goals include doing a handstand fully erect

The bell cums for whom?

Boobs?

Happy Twisted Teens day to all who celebrate

Need to be back in Hong Kong

Every pair of boobs i see changes the trajectory of my life just a little bit.

Wife is making me write “I will not post pictures of my penis on x.com” 100 times on the blackboard

Today’s the only day you can tell people you’re from South Carolina

Posting the I Voted sticker directly on my erect cock later. Stay tuned

“You’ve had about a hundred beers of solitude”

Why do the swingsets in Germany look like they’re from Nuremberg?

Break the millennial spirit by reminding them that New Girl was a garbage tv show.

Nice boobs! (tag yourself)

I hate straight Halloween. What do you mean you’re the Drivin’ Gooner