@JordanQbaum

I’m either telling jokes, being anxious or telling jokes while I’m anxious | Engaged to @awattyqt

 Eating Ass 🍑
qbaumcomedy.com
Joined January 2012
  • Tweets7.6K
  • Following380
  • Followers1.6K
1.8KMedia
Alot of people are mad at Shane Gillis for saying “Women Dress Like Whores at the gym” but guys it’s clearly a joke. Shane Gillis would never be inside of a gym
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Yeah…. I get PUSS!
New York Post
@nypostOct 8
Sexually transmitted diarrhea is on the rise - and it's morphing into a drug-resistant superbug trib.al/J1D5jaQ
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I want to audition to DC to be Ch’p the Green Lantern Squirrel. I already look to part
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I’ve always loved @RealCarrotTop and this is so sad to hear. I hope he has a speedy recovery ❤️
New York Post
@nypostSep 19
Carrot Top hospitalized after attempted suicide, Friday Vegas show canceled: report trib.al/Pz56uUD
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Me & @AwattyQT after eating funnel cake at the fair
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Me: I just bought the green lantern ring, so now you gotta start showing me some respect! Fiancée: doesn’t the ring have to be charged by an actual Green Lantern? Me: …………. I’m so proud.🥹
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I’m so tired of people telling me who I’m supposed to be.
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They call me Lindsey Clancy…
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I make a lot of jokes about celebrities. Here’s a compilation youtu.be/evc6f72Odm0?is=zAuK…
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R.I.P Dolly Parton! It should have been Jolene!!!
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Spiderman: Brand New Day Bros before goes
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Hello. I am man
Fact
@FactJul 25
A man once survived on pizza alone for 25 years.
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Disney Deaths!? #standup #comedy #funny #disney
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Cobb’s in SF was a blast! ❤️🤣 Packed crowd with good people!
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Got my final diagnosis today. It’s official…. I’m slightly autistic (we know Jordan) I am on the neurodivergent side which goes hand in hand with my severe ADHD lol So now that I have this knowledge…. I have to make some calls Cause chances are I gave it to you
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If you eat lettuce from Taco Bell you joe stay deserve it
Complex
@ComplexJul 17
The CDC says shredded iceberg lettuce served at Taco Bell has been linked to a parasite outbreak. The agency states shredded iceberg lettuce supplied by Taylor Farms and served at Taco Bell locations in Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and West Virginia has been linked to the outbreak. People in those states are being told not to eat the lettuce while the investigation continues.
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None of the rooms were full enough
TMZ
@TMZJul 17
"Full House" creator Jeff Franklin lists Beverly Hills mansion for $45M. See more: tmz.com/2026/07/16/jeff-fran…

'Full House' Creator Jeff Franklin Lists Beverly Hills Mansion for $45M

Jeff Franklin, the creator of "Full House," is trying to get his house full again ... because he is putting his gorgeous Beverly Hills home up on the market once again!

tmz.com
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Explains why he’s always asking for pictures
DiscussingFilm
@DiscussingFilmJul 9
J.K Simmons says he has still never met Tom Holland despite being in 2 of his ‘SPIDER-MAN’ films. “Delightful guy I’m told.” (Source: @joshuahorowitz)
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No one, and I mean no one. Makes me belly laugh cry more than @AwattyQT . It’s just pure joy that no one can replicate 🤣
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Jersey Shores The Situation as a governor?! youtube.com/shorts/knpQJ7zVH…

Governor Situation!

Mike "The Situation" from MTV's Jersey Shore is trying to run for g...

youtube.com
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