in summer 2018, i started a new game on the sims 4 where i made all my neighbors famous people. these celebrities went about their automated lives in the background of my game for 1.5 years. i spent today discovering how they spent this time and found stunning chaos. let's begin.

wait......were we not supposed to take our picture together......@MomosaurusRex_ deadline.com/2023/06/out-in-…

google better LAWYER UP

The scariest media of all time is flight 29 down

i will say i feel the josh war has something to do with when i first opened my message requests and it was just slightly different greetings from people with the same name as me

receiving this image from an unknown number bodes really well for my 2021 prospects i just know it

I’m scared to move to LA because I know I’ll be immediately cast in a long running successful multi cam sitcom and then it’s just like that’s your life

my little sister is coming for my career and honestly? she deserves to have it

in today's edition of online falsities about josh, wikipedia's dictionary cites me as the first person to use the term 'varchie' and the second to use 'bughead'. i have seen *two* episodes of riverdale in my life but i'll be damned if this isn't my legacy

here's an off brand tweet: me, your edgy neighborhood jew, has a story in @ChickenSoupSoul's new book about...CHRISTMAS?!?!? a tale some of you know called "the nutcracker's reluctant fan" & if you tell my jewish mom about it i will block u :) book out now #CSSChristmasIsintheAir

happy 14 year anniversary to my mom sending me to etiquette school, where they taught a 7 year old to always order scotch “on the rocks”