feelomenah

Alam niyo ba, one thing I’ve noticed while living in Thailand is how differently Thai people deal with death and grief. I have a Thai colleague whose mom passed away, pero kahit nakaburol pa ang mom niya, pumapasok pa rin siya sa work every day. She’s still cheerful, still talks and laughs with everyone, and continues with her usual routine. Then, every evening, she goes to the temple to pray. I’ve noticed similar behavior among other Thai people I’ve known over the past few years. On the other hand, I also have a Filipino colleague whose grandmother passed away. She requested a two-week leave so she could go home to the Philippines and be with her family. One Thai colleague actually asked me why she needed two weeks off and whether mourning in the Philippines really lasted that long. That question made me reflect on how differently our cultures approach grief. Sa Pilipinas kasi, it’s common for wakes to last around a week. And even after the burial, some family members need another week to mourn, spend time with loved ones, recover emotionally, and prepare themselves to return to their normal routines and work. Here in Thailand, I’ve observed that some people seem to maintain their daily routines while finding comfort in going to the temple, praying, and making merit for the deceased. I later learned that this may be influenced by Theravada Buddhism, particularly the belief in impermanence — that death is a natural part of life and that everything is temporary. Of course, this doesn’t mean Thai people feel less pain or that Filipinos are less accepting of death. These are simply different ways of expressing love, processing loss, and finding comfort. It made me realize that grief doesn’t have one universal expression. Some people need time away from their daily responsibilities to mourn, while others find comfort in maintaining their routines and practicing their faith. At the end of the day, the length of someone’s mourning leave doesn’t measure how much they loved the person they lost. And a person’s ability to smile after a loss doesn’t mean they’re not hurting.