Who else loves gray sweatpants season? 🍁

Hello short, gray hair. Goodbye mustache.

Catch you in the locker room after our workout?

I love people. I just don’t particularly enjoy parties. For a long time, I felt like I needed to apologize for that. I’d go to crowded events, noisy parties, and social gatherings because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Everyone else seemed to be having a wonderful time, so surely I should be enjoying myself, too? Except I usually wasn’t. I’m an introvert. I’m neurodivergent. And while I genuinely love connecting with people, I find loud, crowded, overstimulating environments exhausting. Sometimes people find that surprising because I can be quite friendly and outgoing. I love conversation! I love getting to know people! But I’d much rather have dinner with a few friends, play a board game, sit together over tea, or spend an evening talking about the meaning of existence than shout over music at a crowded party. I don’t dislike people. I just prefer intimacy over stimulation. And sometimes I worry that people interpret my declining invitations as a rejection of them. It isn’t. I’d genuinely love to spend time together! Just perhaps somewhere we can actually hear each other speak. For years, I wondered whether something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I enjoy the things that seemed to bring everyone else so much pleasure? But I’ve come to realize that I don’t need to force myself into environments that make me uncomfortable just to prove that I’m sociable. I can love people deeply without enjoying every way people choose to socialize. And I don’t want to apologize for that anymore. So if you’re another quiet soul who would rather spend an evening reading beside someone you love than attending a big party, perhaps we should be friends. We can sit together, drink tea, play cards, and occasionally discuss the mysteries of existence. That sounds like a pretty wonderful evening to me. What about you? #IntrovertLife #Neurodivergent #AuthenticLiving #MeaningfulConnection #Ecstaticism

6 weeks into my new training program. Down almost 15 lbs. still holding onto muscle mass pretty well 💪

2018 to 2026

I give really good hugs

I’ve been called weird for most of my life. The way I think. The way I communicate. The things I care about. The way I show up in the world. And, let’s be fair, I don’t exactly make it difficult for people to reach that conclusion. 😂 For a long time, I thought I needed to find a way to make myself more understandable. More relatable. More acceptable to the people around me. But I’ve come to realize something rather liberating: I don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t need to be understood by everyone. I don’t need to make myself smaller, quieter, or more conventional just to make other people comfortable. What I do need are those wonderful people who encounter my particular brand of weirdness and think, “Oh! You’re one of my people!” The ones who recognize something familiar in the unfamiliar. Who don’t need me to explain away all my contradictions. Who appreciate me precisely because I’m not quite like everyone else. And when I find those people, I pull them close. I’d rather be deeply loved by a few people who genuinely see me than broadly approved of by thousands who don’t. There’s a tremendous freedom in seeking resonance rather than mass appeal. And perhaps the very things that make you feel strange or out of place are the things that will help your people recognize you. So here’s to the weirdos, the misfits, the outsiders, and everyone who’s ever felt a little difficult to categorize. You don’t have to be for everyone. You just have to find your people. And I hope you do. #AuthenticLiving #Neurodivergent #FindYourPeople #SelfAcceptance #Ecstaticism

Get naked today!

What’s amazing to me is how many men haven’t learned how to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely LOVE seeing a huge load blow everywhere! What I DON’T love is what comes after: the refractory period, the lower energy levels, the inevitable nap lol. When you learn that you can have the full experience of orgasming without blowing your load, you can keep going… have five, ten, fifteen orgasms. As many as you want! And then when you want to cum, it becomes a choice. I’m so grateful I trained my body to do this in my 20’s.

This would be more fun if you were joining me

We are wholly holy. Wholly with a W. Holy with an H. I love that little play on words because I think it’s something we so desperately need to remember. So many of us have spent years being taught to feel ashamed of our bodies, our desires, our sexuality, our identities, or simply the things that make us different. And what has that shame actually accomplished? Has it made us kinder? More compassionate? More loving? More connected to ourselves and one another? Or has it taught us to hide, to disconnect, and to believe that certain parts of ourselves are fundamentally unworthy of love? I’ve always found it strange that we can proclaim that human beings are made in the image of God, only to turn around and declare certain parts of our humanity dirty or sinful. Apparently, God made a few mistakes when designing the dangly bits. 😂 I don’t buy it. I believe our bodies are sacred. Our humanity is sacred. And that includes the parts we’ve been taught to hide. That doesn’t mean every impulse needs to be acted upon or every behavior celebrated. But we can approach ourselves with discernment, responsibility, and compassion without resorting to shame. There’s a tremendous difference between recognizing that something we do may need to change and believing that something about who we are is inherently wrong. My invitation is to begin noticing where shame still lives within you. Where have you learned to recoil from yourself? What parts of your humanity have you been taught to reject? And what might become possible if you began meeting those places with tenderness instead? You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are sacred. Every part of you. Yes, especially those parts. #ShameFreeLiving #EmbodiedSpirituality #SelfAcceptance #SacredBody #EcstaticSelf

WEEK 5 Lowest weigh-in yet this morning: 208.6 lbs. That puts me more than 10 pounds down from where I started five weeks ago, and my coach is really happy with how things are progressing. I am too. About five days ago we dropped my intake to 3,200 calories per day, with fat at around 50g, while keeping carbs very high. Apparently this is also the chapter of my life in which I rediscover pretzels after basically ignoring them for a decade. People occasionally tell me 3,200 calories sounds like an enormous amount of food for a cut, but my activity level is also… substantial. I’m still walking about 5 miles every morning, now fasted; lifting for roughly 90 minutes five days a week; doing 30 minutes of higher-intensity cardio three afternoons a week; and spending about 30 minutes every day on mobility/yoga. My coach also recently added yohimbine as part of the current fat-loss phase. And, importantly, I feel good. Energy has been stable. Hunger is manageable. The exhaustion I was running into earlier in the cut is gone. I’m training well, recovering well, and watching my body change week by week. There’s probably still another 15–25 pounds my coach wants to take off before we turn around and begin the next growth phase, which still feels slightly surreal to me. But I’m much more at peace with the process than I was a few weeks ago. The thing I’m happiest about is that 208 means something very different this time. I finished my last cut around this same bodyweight, and I was neither as lean nor as muscular as I am now. That’s probably the clearest evidence I could ask for that the work since then actually produced something. Same number on the scale. Different body. Five weeks down. Curious to see what’s underneath the next layer. #BodybuildingJourney #CuttingPhase #FitnessTransformation #BodyRecomposition #FitnessOver35

I would like to proudly come out as… a real human being. Apparently, this is something I need to clarify. No, I’m not AI. That’s actually me in my videos. That’s my actual body in my bodybuilding updates. Sometimes the lighting is just really good! I suppose I should take it as a compliment, but it’s a little surreal to have people insist that you’re not actually real. And honestly, I think it’s a sad reflection of where we find ourselves. We’ve reached a point where we can no longer reliably distinguish between what’s real and what’s artificially generated. Which makes me think we need more opportunities to experience one another beyond our screens. Flesh to flesh. Skin to skin. Belly to belly. Breath to breath. To feel someone’s warmth. Hear their laughter. Smell their skin. Look into their eyes. Share the experience of being alive together. There’s something profoundly nourishing about human connection that no algorithm can replicate. So yes, I’m real! A living, breathing, occasionally ridiculous human being. At least as far as I’m aware. And I’m actually quite friendly in person. Come to a workshop. Join me for a retreat. Come say hello. Don’t just take my word for it. Come find out for yourself. #RealHumanConnection #EmbodiedLiving #Authenticity #HumanConnection #EcstaticSelf