beaver

Eating a projectile.

I have fried rice syndrome

To get a like from me on one of your tweets is a great achievement

Here’s the lid to a jar of peanut butter screwed into a tree for some reason

Spread me thin

I have the whole forest to myself

Eating this because it was free

I am a person of consequence

What is it about me that’s so blockable to people on here

I’ll get in any position you want

I love telling old people I don’t vote

All those tweets I used to make about hating animals were untrue. Not sure why I was saying that.

No one has ever overheard me say something that I didn’t intend for them to hear

Why would they send me this

There’s a specific type of person who loves telling embarrassing stories where they look foolish and they take pride in their own foolishness, to the point of boasting about it.

I want to bleed.

Let me guess.