If one can't be a great artist or a great soldier, the next best thing is to be a great criminal.
Joined September 2011
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I just want to let @neontrees know that their new album is Fucking Excellent, and they will never know how much I love them ❤️
Watching @TrondyNewman on #spaceforce like “I KNOW HER!” ... I don’t, but proud to see someone who I listen to every week just ~flourishing~
Anyone who thinks women wear makeup for men might be interested in hearing that I panic at the thought of wearing anything besides a basic smokey eye and mascara because “other girls will be able to tell I did this wrong.”
You know when someone asks you where something is, you literally point right at it, and they go the wrong way? Okay imagine that but happening twenty times in a row.
Linnea Gregg retweeted
the small neighbor human. had show and tell today at school. and with my human’s permission. they brought me. i just sat beside them and smiled. as they told the whole class. why i’m their best friend
There are exactly two people in the world with my name: me, and the protagonist of a wattpad fic titled "I Met Him on Tumblr."
Did it take anyone like a year to realize that @Jon_Favreau and @jonfavs are two different fucking people? Nope, just me? 🤦🏽♀️
I'm sharing this for everyone but mostly TI but also everyone
youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8W…
Nobody:
American Airlines: Hello everyone we have a full flight today so we might not have room in the overhead bins for carryons
There are many amazing elements to @DearWhitePeople and one of my favorites is the meta spoofs of other TV shows #DearWhitePeople3
I wonder if middle-aged men who are friends with me on social media know that I rethink all of our interactions after seeing them post memes with scantily clad women
me: why am i building an acting career on being INCREDIBLY creepy?
also me: *figures out your home address just for fun*