Live From The Pines

How I’d describe each top 25 team: 1. Georgia - ABC store (Any Body Can-get-it), just don’t drive after visiting. 2. Notre Dame - France in WW2. They technically won, but who’d they beat? 3. Miami - Cuban Cigar, they burn you, it feels illegal, but everyone wants what they have. 4. Ohio St. - Jeremiah Smith. 5. Indiana - The new Indiana Jones movie. They tried to do the same thing but it’s not quite the same. 6. Alabama - Heavyweight boxer. They can throw hands with the best of them, but one punch can cost them the game. 7. Texas - Wal-Mart. They have everything, but what you want. That’s a good product that you feel proud paying for. 8. BYU - Rodney Dangerfield. They get no respect. 9. Ole Miss - Running into a friend on vacation. What’re you doing here…in the top ten? 10. Texas Tech - Amarillo by morning, up from San Antone. Everything that Sorsby got, is just what he bet on 11. Utah - An old school John Wayne movie. The acting is horrible, the graphics are even worse. But damnit if you don’t enjoy it. 12. UCLA - Deshaun Foster. You forget that they’re there because of Stephen Davis (USC) but they might be better at this point. 13. Missouri - Stray dogs. They’ve lost before. They’ve got fleas, but they’re lovable and reliable. 14. Tennessee - a 1999 Honda Civic. It’s ugly. It’s missing a lot of key pieces. But, she’ll get you to a win. 15. Kentucky - a Waterbed with a leak. Sleep on them at your own risk. 16. Mississippi St. - see Kentucky. 17. Iowa - A closer. They’ve got two pitches, and are good in a jam. But they don’t have enough to go the distance. 18. Oklahoma St. - The first bonfire of the year. It took a minute to get started, but once it got going, it was HOT. 19. USC - Swiss cheese. They have strong taste, but anything can get through it. 20. Houston - a budding flower. It’s not spring yet, but you see something is about to emerge 21. Wake Forest - A Southern Baptist prayer circle. You forget you have them there, and then you realize how powerful they are when they show up. One sec, I need to call my grandma to get Wake to lose so Clemson can make it to Charlotte. 22. LSU - Kenny Chesney. This team has already been sky diving, Rocky Mountain climbing, and spent 2.7 seconds on a bull named the top 10. 23. Boise St. - Bingo Free Space. Congrats Boise, you are in the CFP (for now). 24. SMU - Apple turnovers. They taste so good but they will be the death of you. 25. Northwestern - Athletes Foot. You try to get rid of them but they keep showing back up.