Jesus died for us to have marshmallow ropes every Easter, and if you disagree, then good luck prying that theology from my cold, dead, and sticky hands.
You know it’s gonna be a good night when your pickup order gets stolen at @Bubbakoos and you’re on such a tight schedule reordering isn’t an option. Tight shit🤌🏻
Yes, I’m hangry. 😩
Very fair question: When do we get the technology to use capsules like in DragonBall Z? I can do without a garage if I can just poof my car into a capsule and pocket it. Where are my people of science at?
I will wait as long as you need me to wait for an oil change if you stuff me with @dunkindonuts like @LiaAutoGroup does. 😋
Yeah baby, I’m lactose intolerant. But I’m low-key self self destructive so I’ll meet u at the fondue fountain.
Fish taco Tuesdays at @TedsFishFry made me forget all about the looming cloud of toxic vinyl chloride in Ohio. Keep up the great work guys!
Eric Rosen retweeted
It’s my dream to have the right person stumble upon @ArtisanOfficial and our three albums and ask us to get the band back together.
This may be my 3rd day in a row having chicken and waffles. That being said, if I eat chicken and waffles 25 days in a row, is it considered an advent calendar? Let me know, please and thank you. It’s for science.
🤷🏻♂️Welp, glad that’s over with. I wanna say “maybe 2023 will be better?” but, if I’m not intentionally trying to make this year better than the last, I know it won’t be. So, here’s to learning from past mistakes, getting better, and learning to love myself more. Cheers🍾🥂
