Every night around 9pm I start viciously chugging water in a race against time to hydrate a whole days’ worth and pee it out all before I fall asleep.
Looking for a skincare solution for when you wake up with bags under your eyes from crying yourself to sleep watching #potroastsmom tiktoks for an hour at 1am.
Today I’m thinking about when a @BankofAmerica phone rep told me I would be fine traveling in Ireland because they have atms “throughout the UK” and I said Ireland isn’t part of the UK and she laughed heartily at my stupidity and said “SINCE WHEN?!?!”
I'm raising money to help save Peach (formerly Gio)! Please help if you can: gofund.me/258d46bf
Lauren Magnuson retweeted
All month I’ve been doing No-vember which is where people ask me to do shit and I say no.
Are my parents playing Grand Theft Auto or watching Gomorrah over-dubbed in English? Impossible to tell from the other room.
Lauren Magnuson retweeted
Stop stalking your Capricorn ex. They will always be doing better than you.
Good morning, America. Class is in session.

ALT A teacher standing in front of a blackboard with a smoke alarm for a face. The text reads: My name is Mr. Smoke Alarm Face. Welcome to the Sounds of Fire Safety. You're not enrolled in the Sounds of Fire Safety 101, but it's Fire Prevention Week! Learn the sounds of fire safety: When you hear the beep, get out, stay out, and call 911. When you hear the chirp, it's time to change the batteries or install a new alarm. For the deaf or hard of hearing, install bed shaker and strobe light alarms that will alert that person to a fire.
Sweet Gio is looking for a foster family in Brooklyn/NYC while he waits for adoption! Can you temporarily open your home to a sweet healthy boy? He wants out of this crate and into your lap! DM me or check out my IG at @Lomagna for more info on him. 😻
Lauren Magnuson retweeted
🧵 I want to share more about what I witnessed at Rikers Island yesterday. We broke into groups to inspect different parts of the sprawling facility. I spent several hours at the Otis Bantum Correctional Center.










