Allison Clark

12 non-obvious leadership truths every coach needs to hear: You won't find most of these in leadership books, but all 12 are tested and proven in the only place that matters: in the fire of competitive leadership. 1. If you're not facing resistance, you're not leading. Leaders hate when people resist, but resistance is proof you're leading. When an airplane throttles forward with thrust, it immediately creates drag. Pilots don’t complain about drag, they know it's coming as soon a they fire up the engines. Drag is a natural consequence of the plane's thrust, but it can still move forward. Resistance is a natural consequence of a coach's leadership, but people can still move forward. Just like a plane needs more thrust to overcome drag, leaders must supply the effort and skill to overcome resistance. 2. Excellence brings more criticism, not less. Everyone assumes getting better brings recognition for a job well done. They expect winning to quiet the criticism. False. Winning, especially if you're the best, buys resentment. Often from people close to you. Human nature is clear on this and undefeated. There is no escaping this. You can win and excellence or you can avoid criticism, but you can't do both. 3. There is no version of leadership where everyone is happy with you. Set high standards and some people get mad. Lower the standards so nobody gets mad and a different group gets mad instead. Pick which anger is worth enduring for the results you get. 3. “Accountability” does not mean to your players what it means to you. You mean observation, responsibility, and adjustment. They hear punishment and they feel unhealthy fear. The word accountability has earned that impression because the only time anyone gets held accountable is after they do something wrong. If you use the word accountability, you'll get less of it every time. Without fail. 5. You can't eliminate discomfort. You can only transfer it. Every difficult things you avoid because it's uncomfortable simply transfers that discomfort to some other part of you. Avoidance moves the discomfort but it doesn't remove it. This may be the most important principle for you to realize and build discipline around. 6. Trust and confidences set the true terms your leadership, not title and talent. You can only lead someone as far as they trust and believe you. Authority and power gets you in front of them. It has little effect after that. 7. Honesty won't reach your ears on its own. It has to be invited and accepted. The honest information that would help you most stays unsaid because saying it to you is awkward for people. Give specific people the explicit job of telling you the honest things, even when they're ugly or they hurt your ego. Then prove to them that you can listen, understand, and think it through without getting defensive. This is rare air for coaches. Maybe 20% are willing to even try. 5% or less do it with discipline and skill. 8. E+R=O: Your response is an event for other people. You already know which people in your building make things harder for you. The real question is whether you can tell when you are being that person for others in a way that isn't making anyone better. 9. Raise your empathy without lowering your expectations. Life is not equal or fair. You can care but the competition and standards of performance don't. Care for people who struggle but don't lower the standard because you care. At the same time, don't stop caring just because you're demanding a lot. You can fully acknowledge how much harder it is for someone while still holding the requirement exactly where it needs to be. 10. Distance yourself from anyone who accepts your complaining. They are either a complainer feeding your loop to stay in your circle or a non-complainer quietly putting up with it and hating it. Neither one gives you what you need. 11. Winning despite average standards is how average standards get rooted, hard to change, and then cause losing. Don't credit culture, discipline, or leadership for a result that favorable circumstances produced. "It's good enough" takes root fast in people and spreads like wildfire in a group. 12. A blindly obedient player can be more dangerous than a defiant one. Undisciplined people fail in both directions. They will fight authority based on personal preference, and they will follow authority blindly because they can't make their decisions and need someone to tell them what to do. Both collapse in intense competitive envionrments.