Ask me how I'm spelling Coke... #tweetlikebrent @rickygervais @DavidBrentMovie

When I go to an entertainment show I don’t really want to be lectured about the artist’s political views. Artists have many platforms they can use to raise awareness about situations occurring in the World. I don’t really want to hear it when I’ve employed them that night.

Genuinely feel sorry for the miserable fuckers who have no idea what this feels like and continue to slag off @oasis @liamgallagher @NoelGallagher Have a day off 🤣

You all know what a boring bastard I am, I hardly do anything. I got my Oasis code for tomorrow 5PM-8PM when I’m taking my Auntie to see fake Phil Collins and fake Lionel Richie 🤣 Typical Louise! It’s against all odds but hopefully I’ll be dancing on the ceiling 💃

Why is ticketmaster emailing me about Robbie Williams? Just GIVE ME MY OASIS CODE!!!

My Auntie made this for my birthday 😆 As it’s my 50th, I was hoping that this is the year that my birthday twin @liamgallagher will wish me a happy birthday back 🤞🏻 For my birthday present, could everyone else manifest that I get Oasis codes 😊

I haven’t been active on social media for a while, but I felt compelled to write that it’s a good job Apple have such high-quality products because they could never rely on selling if it came down to the patronising cunts in their stores.

As a birthday present for you @rickygervais I decided to donate a gift to someone less fortunate than you. To cut a long story short, I bought me tickets to your #Legend show in #Birmingham. To achieve this I also had to buy a shit ton of vodka from #DutchBarn Have great one Sir

.@missgemcollins in #imaceleb is a bit of me. I hang with a small group of the same energy and she’d be welcome anytime. She’s so funny. She can bring @seannwalsh too. I’ll get earplugs.

Only one of yours left in @Waterstones #SuttonColdfield @JaneFallon Clearly the most popular! #WelcomeToTheNeighbourhood ❤️

These are the photos that should be all over our timelines. Two beautiful, innocent girls with their entire lives ahead of them. It’s their names that everyone should remember. Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman ❤️

Remember when Twitter used to be about coming up with Office quotes to describe your sex life? I miss those days.

I bought some dungarees. I don’t even know what that means or how I feel about it tbh.