lighthouse enthusiast. lover of nintendo & iced coffee & haiku. army officer. 🏳️🌈🐊
Joined August 2019
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my very religious but supportive elderly neighbor asked me what I’m giving up for pride because I think she thinks it’s like lent and the pride parades are like mardi gras?? anyway I panicked and said oatmeal
just remembered the time I got a coin from an LTC and he said “no one’s made me feel like that since I briefed my first battalion commander as a platoon leader”
it’s wild that multiple sergeants major have tried to correct me on my (in regs) braid length but not one of them has done something about the increasingly dire scrambled egg problem
my friends all bailed last minute for friendsgiving in maui and I vented to the girl working at the car rental counter. but guess who got a free upgrade to a new convertible and is meeting a new friend for coffee and a volcano hike lmaooo
my three legged cat managed to catch another huge lizard that got into the house and there’s literally nothing I can do to get him to drop it
I’m about to get on a 10hr flight and that’s either going to do wonders for me as I ignore today or it will make me literally insane. stay tuned folks.
I thought always going on TDYs alone was bad but actually, judgmental folks from my unit who just sit in their hotel room the whole time and don’t want to meet joint and coalition partners or explore the area are way worse lol
so worried about the undisciplined troops regressing during peacetime but can’t stop talking about accessories in their corporate branded lanyards
I know that the army as an organization can manage multiple priorities at once and there’s other outlets to announce new initiatives, but the fact that AUSA coverage has just been senior leaders hawking underwhelming “reinventions” of things we didn’t ask for/need is … a choice
just accidentally gave the bouncer my dave and buster’s card for the cover fee. absolute walk of shame into bejeweled burlesque night.
guy next to me at the bar got a shot of lemoncello on the house and he asked me if he should shoot it or sip it and the bartender said “baby it’s lemon juice, you spilled pasta sauce on your shirt”
you too could be ambushed by your friendly neighborhood twt anon only to be told about it hours later
Remembering that one time @LtCatra was in my office & waved to me in the hallway & I awkwardly waved back because I had no idea who tf it was 😂 that’s what you get for having an anonymous social 🫠
the canadian field grades invited me to dinner on the condition that I wouldn’t call any of them sir and I failed before I even sat down fml