Luke Gansmoe

My dad got me a gift card to Trader Joes for my birthday and my mom got me one to Whole Foods and I guess in some sense you could say that sums up why they got divorced.

This is very niche, but have to point out this is exactly how the 2001 film ‘Summer Catch’ starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jessica Biel ended.

AMC app being down on a Friday afternoon is like the church doors being locked on a Sunday morning.

You kidding me? I am devil wears Prada.

Conan every year please.

We’ve officially entered commercials that make me cry season.

Five minutes after this debate ends, I’m going to see a headline like ‘undecided voters are still undecided’ and I’m going to put my head through a wall.

Being a fan of Minnesota sports is a curse I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

People from back home always ask me why I moved to Los Angeles. And the answer is obvious… I like to have helicopters circle over my neighborhood every night.

Do you guys think Hillary Clinton’s speech at the Tonys will help convince Trump supporters (who famously love to watch the Tonys) to vote for Biden instead? I’m optimistic about it.

Being in my mom’s car in 2002.

Imagine being so talented at what you do that you’re the go-to for both of these guys. Robbie Robertson was a legend.

I believe that 1997-1999 should be known as the Greg Kinnear years.

Walking to work this morning in a residential neighborhood, I tripped and full-on face planted with a large cup of coffee, and i've never been so terrified by the existence of ring cameras.

Went to send a salad recipe video I found on Tik Tok to myself to try later, and accidentally sent it to someone I haven’t spoken to in 11 years.

When someone requests me to share my Apple Watch activity with them

I knew the Oscars were going to be bull shit this year when C’mon C’mon didn’t get a single nomination.

The main reason I'm afraid of flying is that one of my exes from college is now a flight attendant.

My mom just moved to California and thank god she made sure to bring my NOW That's What I Call Music 10 cd with her.

Honestly I made some undeniably great Spotify playlists.