tyler malec

All checks bounce if you tape them to a basketball. Put me in coach

What if Maybelline is behind more than just make up, like a murder? Maybe it was Maybelline

I’ll take a deep breath but I won’t give it back

The person that invented deodorant was like damn, we all smell bad

If body builders are so tough, why don’t they ever swim in open waters

I never asked to watch WWII in hd or color, but sure, put it on

Why didn’t Aladdin just wish for equality instead?

I went to the university of Phoenix online but really it was a starbucks

How come it’s never feeding time for me when I go to the aquarium?

The real lord of the rings is my step dad Ron. He’s on his third marriage

Okay well a broken clock is right twice a day (amiright?), but maybe wrong 86,398 other times so maybe give me a second break??

A lawsuit is a tuxedo

PSA: dogs on dogfood bags aren’t smiling bc the food tastes good, they’re panting bc they’re hot. Try before you buy and shave your pets