Parody account. Commentary account. Please be patient I have autism. More Brythonic than Anglo.
Greggs HQ
Joined August 2025
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Ciaphas Cain retweeted
The Libertarian Party candidate for North Carolina state senate is currently in the midst of an armed chase and shoot-out with the cops, keeping us posted with live tweets:
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Unpixelate the face, I want to check something
Girl, 10, rushed to hospital with ‘stomach ache’ found to be six months pregnant as stepdad, 33, arrested
thesun.co.uk/news/40801427/g…
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
An inspiring performance... if Henry's aim was to get some senior citizens in a care home to have some cocoa and biscuits and have an afternoon nap.
Probably my favourite version. It's much less bombastic than Olivier's or Branagh's.
#StCrispinsDay
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
Reminder that D.H. Lawrence bodied Russell so hard in a single letter that called him out that Russell contemplated suicide over it
“There is not in Europe any such thing as a pure race. Russians have an admixture of Tartar blood, Germans are largely Slavonic, France is a mixture of Celts, Germans, and people of Mediterranean race, Italy the same with the addition of the descendants of slaves from every corner of the Empire imported by the Romans. The English are perhaps the most mixed of all. There is no evidence that there is any advantage in belonging to a pure race. The purest races now in existence are the Pygmies, the Hottentots, and the Australian aborigines; the Tasmanians, thanks to the British, who were probably even purer are now extinct. There is a special absurdity in applying racial theories to the various populations of Europe.”
— Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays, Ch. VII: An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish
A barracks bunny speaks
I’m with @PeterBleksley all the way. All these young people bravely stating they won’t fight for this country. 🤦🏻♀️😫
I find it embarrassing.
Well there are still young people who recognise it’s not for Andy Burnham or the Labour Party it’s for the ordinary people of this country, their parents, grandparents, their friends and wider family. And whether they can afford a house or pay too much tax is utterly irrelevant to the future of this country when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets and the US is on the golf course…
And thank goodness many of us from the next generation up, whose bodies are creaking will willingly do whatever is necessary to keep those youngsters in their warm tv studios and safe in their homes watching it on the news.
Where do I sign? ✍️
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
>when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets
The only people looking through my windows and sizing up my carpets are the foreigners who your party and Labour let in by the millions in order to ruin us.
I’m with @PeterBleksley all the way. All these young people bravely stating they won’t fight for this country. 🤦🏻♀️😫
I find it embarrassing.
Well there are still young people who recognise it’s not for Andy Burnham or the Labour Party it’s for the ordinary people of this country, their parents, grandparents, their friends and wider family. And whether they can afford a house or pay too much tax is utterly irrelevant to the future of this country when countries like Russia and Iran are looking through the windows and sizing up for carpets and the US is on the golf course…
And thank goodness many of us from the next generation up, whose bodies are creaking will willingly do whatever is necessary to keep those youngsters in their warm tv studios and safe in their homes watching it on the news.
Where do I sign? ✍️
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
The British government is like "we're coming round to take the 2p coins from the crevasses of your couch and arresting you for playing Elgar and please buy baked beans so we can pretend the lines are moving and by the way we're paving over the countryside to build data centres that will be obsolete by the time they're finished and please can you just stop thinking and moving about already, you f***ing peasant."
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
People don’t really understand that when Lula stole trillions, it wasn’t to eat caviar, it was to put it in the global communism finances. If you think the commies who flood Europe with migrants and Lula are not related, you’re naive. It’s an international movement
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
> build pattern recognition machine
> machine recognizes patterns
> panic
Police using AI risks making discrimination worse, researchers warn bbc.in/4kg6uug
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
If a simple abbreviation of your ethnic group becomes a slur, you’ve probably earned those negative connotations.
That’s why black people rebrand every 5 to 10 years.
Ciaphas Cain retweeted
If you want to understand the average groyper staffer, keep in mind that, aside from never having joined a fraternity or the military, he also grew up in a church where every Sunday service looked like this.
