So, grab an opposition player by the throat and you get a red card and a 3 match suspension. Grab a kid in the crowd by the throat, be allowed to keep playing and only get a 2 match suspension. Make it make sense, @FA ...

ALT Krystian Bielik has been suspended for two matches and fined £10,000 for misconduct during Cardiff City’s EFL Championship match against Portsmouth on Saturday 5 September. It was alleged that the player acted in an improper manner around the 71st minute of the fixture. Krystian Bielik subsequently admitted the charge. An independent Regulatory Commission imposed these sanctions following a hearing, and the written reasons for its decisions will be published in due course.
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From now on, this is the benchmark when using the word 'legend'. RIP Knightsie!
Portsmouth Football Club are devastated to announce the passing of Alan Knight at the age of 65, surrounded by his close family.
The Pompey legend – who served the club as a goalkeeper, coach and ambassador – passed away this morning following a battle with prostate cancer.
He will be sadly missed by the Fratton faithful, teammates and all of us at the club who knew and loved him.
Rest in peace, Knightsie. 💙
🔗 portsmouthfc.co.uk/news/2026…
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🔵 #Pompey are delighted to announce the appointment of Ronan Callaghan as chief financial officer.
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Hahahaha, this is ace.
Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.
$30 per seat per month.
$1.4 million annually.
I called it "digital transformation."
The board loved that phrase.
They approved it in eleven minutes.
No one asked what it would actually do.
Including me.
I told everyone it would "10x productivity."
That's not a real number.
But it sounds like one.
HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.
I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."
They stopped asking.
Three months later I checked the usage reports.
47 people had opened it.
12 had used it more than once.
One of them was me.
I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.
It took 45 seconds.
Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.
But I called it a "pilot success."
Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.
The CFO asked about ROI.
I showed him a graph.
The graph went up and to the right.
It measured "AI enablement."
I made that metric up.
He nodded approvingly.
We're "AI-enabled" now.
I don't know what that means.
But it's in our investor deck.
A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.
I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."
He asked what that meant.
I said "compliance."
He asked which compliance.
I said "all of them."
He looked skeptical.
I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."
He stopped asking questions.
Microsoft sent a case study team.
They wanted to feature us as a success story.
I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."
I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.
They didn't verify it.
They never do.
Now we're on Microsoft's website.
"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."
The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.
He got 3,000 likes.
He's never used Copilot.
None of the executives have.
We have an exemption.
"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."
I wrote that policy.
The licenses renew next month.
I'm requesting an expansion.
5,000 more seats.
We haven't used the first 4,000.
But this time we'll "drive adoption."
Adoption means mandatory training.
Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.
But completion will be tracked.
Completion is a metric.
Metrics go in dashboards.
Dashboards go in board presentations.
Board presentations get me promoted.
I'll be SVP by Q3.
I still don't know what Copilot does.
But I know what it's for.
It's for showing we're "investing in AI."
Investment means spending.
Spending means commitment.
Commitment means we're serious about the future.
The future is whatever I say it is.
As long as the graph goes up and to the right.
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#MTRA Update (September 2025): 1449/1.0.96.2025223801 learn.microsoft.com/en-us/mi… #MicrosoftTeams #MicrosoftTeamsRooms
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RIP Robert Redford. All the President's Men is one of my favourite films of all time and he was ace in that.
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Exactly what you want from a player: 100% commitment. Never doubted Matt's effort or desire to work hard. Could always hear him on he pitch. Still not 100% on this decision to let him go, but best of luck, Matt! #PUP #Pompey
💙 "You are the heartbeat of this club and the reason Fratton Park is so special."
💬 A message from Matt Ritchie to you.
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Hey @myclubpro, go an issue with the club websites? Ours is down and a few others I've tried are too.
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New #MTRA 2.6.1 update (1449/1.0.96.2025061705 - July 2025): learn.microsoft.com/en-us/mi… #MicrosoftTeams #MicrosoftTeamsRooms
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New #MTRA 2.6.0 update (1449/1.0.96.2025203502 - June 2025): learn.microsoft.com/en-us/mi… #MicrosoftTeams #MicrosoftTeamsRooms
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If you're suffering from Microsoft acting like your cheap-ass mate after imposing the new TERRL, the cheapest license to buy is the Exchange Online Protection license. These are 79p per month each. #MSExchange #ExchangeOnline #CheapAssMicrosoft #YoureBetterThanThisMicrosoft
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MTRA 2.5.0 (1449/1.0.96.2025126202) is out! learn.microsoft.com/en-us/mi… #MicrosoftTeams #MicrosoftTeamsRooms
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