Being Jewish

I miss the good old days when this was the greatest platform a screenwriter could ask for.

My kids opened a lemonade stand this weekend and made $96 in 2 hours. Two life lessons: 1. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. 2. I may need to quit comedy, screenwriting, and production and chase the real money… Lemonade.

Business idea: Forget selling someone else’s products. Forget creating your own. Just sell the stuff you already have lying around the house. I’m currently taking offers on my children.

Scripts are like children, we all have a favorite.

Startup idea: Rich kids get money when they lose a tooth. Poor kids don’t. So an app where poor kids sell their lost teeth to rich kids. Poor kid makes $1, rich kid flips it to the Tooth Fairy for $20–$50, and the app takes a 5% cut.

I WILL direct a movie this year (here’s hoping the “movie” isn’t just a reel for socials)

When at first you don't succeed, cry. Then try again.

Unsolicited advice: Don’t write dialogue. Understand your characters and your story so deeply that dialogue becomes the easy part. Put real people into a real situation and let them react. What they say will almost always be more authentic than anything you could force.

Like most creatives in LA, I hustled by managing a company’s socials. After 4 years, 400% growth, 100M+ views, and 4 raises, they texted: take a pay cut back to my starting salary or get cut. I said no. Still waiting for karma… but I’d make the same choice. Would you?

I moved to Los Angeles to become a screenwriter. I pitched a TV show about comedians. The show never got made, but somehow I became a comedian. Funny how life works. What’s an unexpected twist that changed your career?

Just wrote a 90-page feature screenplay in three weeks flat. Here’s my secret: Get hired for a paid writing job. Spend three weeks avoiding it by writing a 90-page feature screenplay instead. Brag about your accomplishment online. Follow for more writing advice.

CEO of a gefilte fish company

My New Year’s resolution is to appreciate my accomplishments instead of glossing over them and moving the goalposts.

Neutrality

5 reasons I became a screenwriter… Actually make it 10. I could use 10 million.

It takes 1,000 “no’s” before you get your yes. I’ve been lucky enough to get “no’s” on my writing from Warner Bros., Sony, Lionsgate, Apple TV, Happy Madison, Boulderlight. Who are you getting your “no’s” from in the new year?

Today I wrote 6,000 words! Unless, texting, and tweeting doesn’t count…

Writers: we’re just like you… only with WAY more things to be depressed about.

A good script is any script you put the time and dedication into actually writing. A GREAT script is one that my mother reads and doesn’t immediately spiral out about how I didn’t go to law school.

Felt extreme grief, so I wrote a pilot about it. If it sells, great. If not, sequel’s already writing itself.