The behaviors that bother you most often collide with your own expectations, values, or personality. Instead of focusing only on what the other person is doing, examine why it affects you so strongly. Irritation can be data if you are willing to study it.

Learn more in my book, 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆, available on Amazon: a.co/d/03GO6D5F

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀’𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: Awareness. Acceptance. Adaptability. Authenticity.

We think we’re describing other people objectively. Often, we’re revealing the lens through which we see them.

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Read Wingspan: bit.ly/wingspan-oct-2026

The October issue of Wingspan is here! Explore AI's influence on personality, handling toxic comments, reading personality styles in interviews, and the fears that drive our behavior. You may discover something that changes how you see yourself and others. bit.ly/wingspan-oct-2026

Most people listen to respond. Real understanding requires setting aside your assumptions long enough to see the situation through someone else’s eyes. Influence begins when people feel seen and understood.

Understanding others helps you navigate relationships. Understanding yourself helps you recognize the assumptions and habits you bring into them. Personality Intelligence requires both.

When you cannot change the situation, you can still change how you engage with it. That choice moves you from being a passive recipient of what is to an active co-creator of what can be.

What does your coffee order say about your personality? Even something as ordinary as coffee can reveal the tendencies we bring everywhere else.

Change what happens within you, and you begin to change what’s possible around you.

When someone makes a toxic comment, calmly ask, “Could you repeat that?” They now have to decide whether they really want to own those words twice, and you gain a few seconds to choose your response. Their first comment doesn't have to dictate what happens next.

What does your outgoing voicemail say about you?

Becoming who you truly are is not about settling into your natural tendencies. It is about understanding them well enough to choose who you want to become.

Personality Intelligence is available on Amazon. a.co/d/0d7AUVP0

You don’t need to change who you are. You need to embrace who you are. Seek to become your best self, not someone else’s. Learn how to become more of your best self in my book, Personality Intelligence.

Your personality may influence your starting point, but it does not determine your destination. Who you become is shaped by the choices you practice until they become part of you.

The worst advice I ever received was, “Go get a real job.” My accountant said it after I started my business. Years later, he admitted he was wrong. Now I use that phrase differently. A real job is work that fits your personality and sustains you.

It’s always fun when a client rents out a movie theater for my keynote.