Michael Jordan

People don't always change but perceptions certainly do.

It's ridiculous how fuckin filthy some women are on twitter. Followed.

What I lack in insight I also lack in motivation, love, enthusiasm, affection, relevance, emotion, fuck I could go on forever.

If u can't smell her hours after she's gone you either A. Don't know how to fuck B. Fucked a chic with a dick

Every time you lie to yourself for the benefit of another individual your soul dies a little.

Once you figure me out let me know what’s wrong with me.

Bitches are crazy. I guess I’m a Bitch.

Sometimes, I never check to see who follows me back because I don’t have expectations on the fuckin Internet.

Just met my perfect match…. in the motherfucking sock basket.

I wanna lick your top tweet, in person.

If bitches are crazy then dudes must be straight up psycopaths.

When I look into your eyes I just wanna sleep with me.

I’d procrastinate but I never have anything to do.

Hey motherfuckers, stop doing that. I wanna be the one fucking all the mothers.

Steps to get rid of a clinger who isn't on twitter: Step 1: Show them your twitter

When a hot girl posts a pic on Facebook, I think we all know the first comment is from that creepy 50-year old guy with 1717 mutual friends.

Hey technology, invent a broom that picks up the debris already.

I just saw my favorite tweeter on America’s Most Wanted.