water may taste like nothing, but truly, nothing tastes quite like water

when the jiujitsu teacher said to switch positions the lyric playing was “switching the positions for you” by ariana grande and we all looked at each other like :000

“you know when you put on a brand new plushy sock? that’s how i feel when i see you after a long day”

jeffrey demure

steven just called pochacco “ripoff snoopy”

panic! at the costco

man i just finished all of @kileyreid’s books and idk what to read now

yeah i only use x.com for complaining to brands now actually

the way everyone on selling sunset says cassandra’s name with a british accent cause it’s how chelsea says it

“wait, only one in ten lightning bugs is willing to hug this guy?”

i think this charity sold my data to a bunch of other charities and now i’m getting transphobic fundraiser mail tf

every time i email a business saying hey since the order hasnt shipped can you make x changes, IMMEDIATELY a shipping label is created so they don’t have to make the changes i’m asking for :’)

no matter what i watch if i see jeremy allen white in it i assume it’s set in chicago

youtube ads with chewing sounds….why

deadlines are so made up

i was laughing at someone for saying “tape” when referring to a youtube video, but today i called a tiktok a “video” so

“am i a skank? am i a skunk? a skank + hunk?”