Nate Lidge

There was a time I used to look into my father's eyes In a happy home, I was a king, I had a golden throne Those days are gone, now the memory's on the wall I hear the songs from the places where I was born

Leave no drinks untouched tonight

Josh Jacobs selling my parlay tonight is where I’m drawing the line with him

“A guy that tried to drug me is gonna be there but it’s fine like I’ll just avoid him”

Can’t even talk to my dogs can’t even talk to my bitch sometimes I sit in the parking garage and I talk to my watch or I talk to my whip

The type of fantasy football manager you are speaks volumes to the type of person you are

The only weapon I own is the one attached to my pelvis

I’m in love with me but if anyone else wants to also be in love with me I’m ok with that too

Girls from Mass go to a school like Auburn and within 2 years they’re taking couples pictures with their boyfriend of 4 months on a white sand beach

Can’t go to the aquarium anymore they might throw me in with the shrimp

Crap.

I’m all in series ends tonight

Might have my boy that’s a professional photographer take my next dick pic for me

I think cricket players suck at baseball because they're indian

Some dude sneezing aggressively in the stall next to me rn

People in California are so stupid

Back is finally sore after hitting it but now I wanna die