Optimistic Darth

Light from distant stars takes thousands of years to reach earth. That means tonight you could see the Death Star exploding.

Smoke enough weed, look and talk like Yoda, you will.

I started to be drawn to the Dark Side in Sith grade.

When people see me in church, they say, "Holy Sith!"

To force choke or not to force choke, that is the question.

When Justin Bieber's new book becomes a bestseller, I think the Death Star will have enough reason to destroy Earth.

If I had to live in your galaxy, I'd live on the Dark Side of the moon.

#SignsYouWereDrunk - You were making less sense than Yoda.

When Han Solo smokes weed, he becomes Han Sohigh.

The end of Empire Strikes Back would have been better if it took place on the Maury Povich Show.

We knew Han had a problem when he started drinking Solo.

Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to force choke, people will fish for him.

#SignsYouWereDrunk - You wake up naked next to a Wookiee.

The Teen Choice Awards are on tonight. So many annoying people all together in the same room makes a great Death Star target.

The Death Star is aimed right at the Teen Choice Awards, when I see Bieber, I'm firing.

I'd rather be force choked than have to deal with Monday right now.

After all the sanctions, the Penn State football program will be just like Alderaan, it won't exist.

For every RT this tweet gets, $1 will be donated to the building of a new Death Star.

I'm so badass, Chuck Norris chokes himself when I walk in the room.

Who gives a Sith?