I want you to kiss me in front of a burning data centre 🔥♥️

Have started a bed time story (for the little ones who stay sometimes) featuring Ronstadt the echidna and Viaduct the wombat because thinking of names at 10pm isn’t a rational process

Someone had SCIENCEY TRINKETS to give away in the staff room and I have taken immediate possession of the glorious wonders.

Ambient is 3° because apparently I enjoyed Fridays 30° too much and nature went ‘na, we want you to clench up and have a red nose’ 😂

So sad to learn that you can't buy a cask of Tropicana anymore 🤣

What’s wrong honey, you’ve barely touched your six opened bags of icing sugar

STOP ROOTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD FOR FUCKS SAKE I yell at ducks as I drive home on a rainy Sunday morning

This book is an absolute delight. Giggling and stamping my little feet while reading.

Welcome to weekend Twitter, where we will argue emphatically about whether women ever use toilet paper as a tampon in an emergency period situation. Enjoy your stay.

When I was a teenager/20s the main fear drummed into me was that I’d get toxic shock syndrome from using tampons. The amount of hype around this seemed disproportionate to the number of women I knew who ever had this happen to them (zero)

Apparently the idea that men having one of their ears pierced (can’t remember if it’s left or right) as a way to show they are gay is still around?

Honestly, the thing that should hurt our feelings about bots is whoever creates them think this picture and bio are what we’ll relate to 😂😂 How do you do, fellow kids?

For a generation that grew up reading 1984, The Lottery, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, There Will Come Soft Rains and *gestures to Vonnegut in general* we are pretty bloody useless at recognising, and trying to stop, the end of everything.

Behold my amazing magic trick as I pull 9 chicks from my pantaloons!!

What’s better than Caturday? Grocery delivery Caturday!

Orcas need to start fucking up other things rich people own not just their yachts.

A lot of people don’t realise they’re functionally illiterate because they think ‘illiterate’ simply means not being able to read. So there are a lot of clueless people having a lot of clueless opinions and not realising they have no fucking idea what’s going on.

The lengths I will go to for researching a novel are extensive. I just wanted everyone to understand that 😂

Stephen King’s The Stand is my favourite novel. I’ve read it probably 20 times. Someone dying at a ‘plague centre’ (bio weapon facility) and it being covered up is pretty much the opening chapter of that novel.

‘The cartoon making fun of a woman’s vaginal prolapse wasn’t as tasteful as it could have been’