A chance to tell you all about the millions of jobs I’m creating! PARODY

Joined January 2021
A spokesperson for the supermarket said "yeah, we're not too bothered about employees stealing from us - sorry, I mean hiding stolen stuff. After calling the police we all agreed this required no further disciplinary action and were quite surprised when Steve resigned."
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Even I have a smidgen more self awareness!
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I've suddenly decided bringing back steelmaking to Teesside has nothing to do with me and the ball's entirely in the government's court!
Tees Valley Mayor Ben Houchen says the ball is in the Government’s court after reports an ‘electric arc’ steelmaking furnace planned for Teesside has been shelved gazettelive.co.uk/news/teess…
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Just trying to work out how 3 million hours = 1,442 years!
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🎂Celebrating 60 years of Teesside Airport! ✈️ I think that photo really captures the party atmosphere! 🎉
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If only there was a way for politicians to communicate with each other that didn't involve having public rants on Facebook!
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I hope our official timeline doesn't give the impression all 4,000 jobs are all on Teesside, rather than shared with Merseyside!
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Teesworks negotiations going well...Musgrave & Corney just laughed in my face, before composing themselves and suggesting they offered such a poor deal out of love for Teesside and the vast profits, with a near infinite return on investment, hadn't even crossed theirs minds!
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Julie Gillespie earning £170,000 per year is, of course, completely different to Sue Gray earning £170,000 per year. thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/1…
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Good question - is it corrupt to give your doners special treatment?
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And if you were to do this on a bigger scale, would it count as industrial scale corruption?
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Just when you're popping open the Champagne, along come the BBC to remind you that Teesside Airport's 'profit' is actually a £3,000,000 pre-tax loss! Thankfully every other media outlet just copied and pasted the press release, no questions asked!
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Getting your country back ...by setting fire to a bin, pushing it at some police officers, falling into it and instantly getting arrested!
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How's a true British Christian patriot meant to get to church, invite the family around for a roast dinner and still find time to protest that things aren't what the use to be?
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Just to clarify, which definition of the word 'corruption' are we going with? It's just that some people would argue wasting taxpayers' money, not following proper tendering processes and then lying about it isn't actually illegal.
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