Hey @Uber why is it impossible to talk to a person on your app? So you guys can just screw people and then have no way to get in touch?

If god has a plan he better let me know. Or I’m gonna end up at the gates sooner then expected and I’m gonna throw hands.

No woman will ever fuck me harder then life does.

10am : Arguing with Uber eats that having a DUI shouldn’t stop me from being able to deliver food 10:15 am: sees on the news that an Uber eats driver got murdered, chopped up, and hidden in garbage bags. 10:20 am: emails Uber eats to tell them they are right

If one more person tells me god has a plan, then I guess he had a plan for you to catch these hands too.

With all these aliens showing up maybe we should make nice with #willsmith so he can slap the shit out these aliens

Biden is having the worst week ever I remember a president having since that one time with the planes

The ability for women to fake it and not laugh automatically makes them the stronger sex.

If you got some extra cash please donate to this and help out one of the best people I know. Her mom was amazing.

I wanna see a sitcom about people rebuilding all these cities that get destroyed in movies. They do it so fast, and I want one shot where they finish and then Godzilla comes back and they are like “are you f**king kidding me”

Hopefully the Rodgers rate covers that pain. #statefarm #BucsVsPackers

I got you. Team effort.

Ravens center getting let go on the bus ride to the airport. #NFLPlayoffs #BillsMafia #RavensVsBills

Man this new season of house of cards without Kevin Spacey is wild. #impeachment

Lady in charge of making laws doesn't understand the law on why she cant bring her gun to work. Next on this is America.

youtu.be/hCJyirlVC9g Brady vs Brees next week