Phoenix Nights

Flower for the lady? FUCK OFF

THEY'RE STONE BASTARD COLD THESE

THEY USED 'TOUCH ME UP ON TAGGART YOU KNOW

DON'T TELL HIM ME NAME, DICKHEAD

ITS THE MIDWEEK LOTTERY

THERE WERE NONE OF THIS ON BERGERAC

ITS THEM TWO TITS THAT! I HAD THAT IN THE BAG THEN

TAXI FOR POTTER TAXI FOR POTTER OUTSIDEEEE OVERRRRRR

£3995?! STICK WITH THE VOLVO MAX KEEP DREAMIN'

"A mate of mine had a jacuzzi in his" DID HE? JUST THE ONE?!

HAVE YOU SWEPT THAT COCK UP YET? Most of it, one of the balls went over next door. Said we can't have it back

LY-CHEESE? "It's a pudding" I KNOW WHAT IT IS, MOUTH

I'm very friendly with the SAS BUT YOU SEE YOU'RE NOT THOUGH, KENNY

IS IT BULLETPROOF? ITS NON-STICK!

IS IT GOLD OR IS IT CHOCOLATE IS IT IS IT GOLD OR IS IT...

LIKE I SAY, SHE HAS GOT A COCK, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

I LOST MOST OF MY HAIR WORRYING ABOUT YOURS

'ELLO JACKIE YEAH I GOT YOU THAT PAINT, CHUCK NORRIS WANTS WHAT? WOODCHIP? I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO

AND WHAT ABOUT SUSHI? "Who?" ROY FISH. HES GOT A BAG ON HIS HIP, STILL GOES JOGGIN ROUND THE ESTATE

YER SHOULD'A TOLD EM TO TAKE THAT THING! "They only had a Citroen"