Professional Nerd

I’m not anti-social, I’m anti-idiot.

life is all about ass. you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

taking your ex back is like trying to put poop back in your butt.

life is like a monkey… It throws shit at you.

life is a dick. Sometimes it gets hard for no reason.

be honest, how many times have you said "i'll do it tomorrow" this week. i'm at 17 and it's Wednesday

my dad still reads every text out loud before he replies, including "lol"

pretending to be a pleasant person all day is exhausting.

can we skip to the rich part?

"Holy shit we're out of time" is something we'll all have to say someday.

in the boxing ring with myself and folks I’m losing teeth

my thing is i have never moved in silence a day of my life.

weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

I understand being a responsible adult...but every day? Every single day? That seems a little excessive.

Anybody wanna meet up and scream for 20 minutes?...we can get food after

i set two alarms every morning: one for the person i want to be and one for the person i actually am.

currently trying to adult but the instructions are unclear.

apparently the only place left without Ads is a book.

so stressed about getting my shit together that i haven't got any of my shit together.

having someone to talk to is a privilege.