✨She’s a ten but it’s short for tense✨ Executive Assistant to the Director, Helen Keller Academy of Interpretive Marksmanship
Somewhere Unstable
Joined August 2008
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My greatest fear is a rat in the toilet and I sit down and it latches onto my vag with all those sharp teeth and claws but I can see how getting married late is kinda scary.
New church this morning, accidentally chose the Polish Mass. Didn’t understand a word but it still made more sense than that time I went to a mega church service.
I bumped some pussy’s cart in front of the apples and he ran his mouth at my back while @ElonJoin839 was passing him. 😳 Oddly, Mr. Talk Shit to a Woman’s Back didn’t have anything else to say after my guy spoke to him. I was laughing so hard. 😂🥰
Ok pocket friends…I want oil and vinegar bottles for my table but I need something pretty much leak-proof so they don’t make me (more) crazy. Got recs?
Made scrambled eggs and now the house smells like egg farts.
Guess I need to make cookies now so we can have it smelling like chocolate chip egg farts.
We don’t even have any bodegas here (yet). I wonder if a vape shop counts? Does it even matter? I’m 49…the odds of having the required 3 abortions don’t look good for me. I wonder if there’s an alternative?
Guys, I woke up with a septum ring, pink hair, and I feel irrationally angry towards my male partner…what happened overnight?
Strategically not using the last 3 squares of toilet paper at work so I can leave the roll change to someone else.
She’s describing me again. And I’m still harassing @ElonJoin839 to get him naked. I haven’t heard any complaints.
The positive here is he IS now eligible for MAID and that program is run with German-like precision. 🇨🇦
My 18-year old was at a friend’s last night. One of the attendees (same age) was found in the bathroom on the floor, having a seizure.
My daughter yelled for someone to call 911, and they did. This is a small SW Ontario city.
More than HALF AN HOUR later, the 911 people called back and said there were no ambulance teams to send and asked if he was “still okay.”
“NO, HE IS STILL HAVING SEIZURES.”
The ambulance never came. The kids ended up calling the boy’s mom back and told her the ambulance wouldn’t come, so she came to the house and for him and drove him herself (from out of town).
What the fuck is happening.
This is precisely how I am with @ElonJoin839. He understands completely, and yes, I am annoying. It’s endearing or something.
He’s also really lucky and I think he knows that. 😂
Ok lads: imagine you aren’t horny at all. Not even slightly. You’re busy fixing a shelf or ironing your suit or watching your favourite TV show. Zero sexy feelings. Your girlfriend sighs loudly and goes “can we have sex now” in whingy voice and then grabs your ass. She then sulks and starts whining when you aren’t instantly aroused and into it and starts saying you haven’t had sex for 3 days.
Annoying? Not very sexy?
GOOD YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE INSTA-HORNY BEHAVIOUR IS ANNOYING