You write your own story, make it a best seller.

I’m not usually a jealous person…but I think it’s unfair that @HaileeSteinfeld is carrying @JoshAllenQB baby and I’m not. That’s some bullshit.

If the @barenakedladies were to bring out @MichaelBuble at the Buffalo show at @outerharborlive I would have to change my drawers because both sides would get soiled immediately

When is @Disney giving us “Chicken Little 2”?

Here’s a crazy one for ya… Turkey….on white

“SQUIDWARD!!! The sky had a baby!!!!”

Nicole could get the pecker

Amazon can suck my left nut

It’s 2023, I want escalators in my house

“WHATS HE GOT?!”

I’m drunk. LETS GO @NLLBandits #Game3 #FuckDiablo #LooneyTunes #10BangerAfterThisGame

One retweet and @joeyDubbs9 by law has to come home for the weekend and go to Game 3 of the @NLL finals 🤷‍♀️ @NLLBandits @MammothLax

Still patiently waiting for @EASPORTS to make a @nll game 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Dany Heatley

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 10 years, since 30 Dec 2013 (via @twi_age).

Hammering the over considering Josh is winning 14 himself