Real 911 Stories from a Real 911 Dispatcher. Oh, and I have a Potty Mouth! *My Views Do NOT Reflect My Employer and ALL Tweets Are Based on Public Info*
United States
Joined June 2012
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Please make these idiots shut the fuck up before i lose my shit and burn this mother fucker to the ground.
911 Caller:"Tell the paramedics to watch out for my birds when they get to my house. I have guard birds that attack people who come near me"
911 Caller:"I ate a box of chocolates. Now I feel weird and kinda dizzy",Me:"Are you diabetic?", Caller:"Yes, do u think thats the problem?"
"Can you tell the officer on my street to turn off his flashing lights? I can't sleep, and I have to work in the morning." #911Call
My coworker had a witty moment tonight after talking to a really drunk, dumb female......being good at stupid doesnt count! Hahaha!
Aliens may have already visited earth, and based on the 911 calls I've taken tonight, they discovered no intelligent life. #dumbnight
"This isnt an emergency, but I didnt know who to call. I took two aleve, and the bottle says to only take one. Am i going to die?" #911 Call
Dear Wednesday night 911 Callers, everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege!!
"I heard a grunting noise, sounded like someone having sex. So I looked outside and some homeless dude is shitting in my trash can" #911Call
"Its 6am and someone is jackoffing on my street. Oh wait, i think i meant to say jackhammering. My god, did i just say jackoff?" #911Call
Real 911 Dispatcher retweeted
Camden to eliminate their entire police department huff.to/QGEhor
"ummm....theres a fight or something. Its a group of guidos....you know, like jersey shore, fist pumping kind of dudes" #Real911Call
"If I knew my address, i would tell you. But i dont know it, so you will just have to use your magic tools to figure it out" #Real911Call