You can imagine some poor Birt being pushed to his limits by American wizards and their wands. Haida shaman: Red cedar and a feather from the first raven Brit: Wow, that's amazing, but.... Lumberjack wizard: Douglas fir and the gutstrings of an exploded gumbaroo! Brit: Wow. That's quite some... Dine/Navajo wizard: Desert juniper and skinwalker hide. Brit: Ha! Wait...are you serious? Lakota Wizard: The lodgepole pine of this wand was taken from an arrow that killed a man from the Seventh Calvary at Little Bighorn and has a core of sacred white buffalo hair. Brit: Um...Wow, that's kinda... Prospector Wizard: That ain't nuttin' pardner! (Spits) This here wand is made from creosote timbers from the cursed Dutchman mine and the tongue of the Bear Lake monster! Brit: Well that's certainly... Southern gambler wizard: Amatuers. Let me show you the wand of a real professional. (Pulls slowly from a leather holster) The wood is from the notched rosewood gun handle that killed John Hardin and the core is a fiber from the rope that hung Nat Turner. Especially good at curses and divination. Brit: Merlin's Beard!! Do you Americans have no standards or regulations?! Where is your ministry of wandmaking?! Prospector Wizard: Oh, that reminds me! If the Bureau of Wands, Orbs and Potions comes asking, I lost this wand in a boating accident. Others nodding: Same. Ditto.