Ian Cognito

I'm going to do some hovering in the lounge, let's see how she likes it. 😆

The bionic fella used to have my brother and I hiding behind the sofa.

What a relief that we got to those drowning doctors and scientists before the French.

I feel old when I see those nostalgia tweets and I realise I still own or use those items.

Are Five guys going to be forced to rebrand?

Note to self, never offer to buy your wife a shopping trolley when she moans about carrying heavy shopping bags home from the shops. Every day is a learning day.😂

I suppose it's frowned upon to give ones wife housekeeping money🤔

Is this global boiling the cause of my wife constantly incinerating my chops 🤔

I'm waiting for XXX. Maybe you can buy it under the counter.🤔

Breaking news - the location of the 1st illegal migrant camp has been revealed.

Global boiling, ditch the heat pumps and buy a huge air-conditioning unit. I wish they would make their minds up.

How much! I feel faint it's the sudden loss of cash.

It's so cold I had hot custard with my tinned fruit salad, not bad at all.

Note to self, never tell mum that I like something i spot in her house, she will force me to take it home with me. I was only being polite.

Go shopping for some nice rustic Oak furniture and get side tracked by a lovely Parker Knoll sofa. I must be getting old because I'm comparing seat height and depths.

Is a tweet now a Twix🤔

You're welcome.

SOH CAH TOA

It is hypnotic.

You think you've had bad day 😆