Roanoke

So glad that @NFL is done for the year.

Did everyone make a New Year's resolution to drive like an idiot?

Happy #LeeJacksonDay to all my racist neighbors. Speaking for all northerners (especially ones who are stuck in the south), "We're No. 1!"

This is what a bunch of layabouts look like. Check your prescription. teapaw.org/vtmom4eva/status/10130…

I guess horrible is a revival from depressingly terrible, but not much of one. teapaw.org/cookmurray/status/9431…

Bah. Our Internet is SWVA is so slow and terrible, it's not like this will affect us. teapaw.org/EllynThomps/status/941…

After all of the @VA_GOP whining about college directories and unwanted texts, why did I get this @EdWGillespie text? #hypocrisy

Thelma!!! Chicken and Waffles replaced by bad beer. Downtown is going to hell.

What's that smell? It's everywhere! It's sticking to us! AHHHHH!

Q: What's the sound of one banjo twanging? A: Annoying. Could music taste in this town be any worse?

Holy cow! First person ever excited to be stuck in Danville. teapaw.org/HStory_WDBJ7/status/81…

They're gonna welcome rednecks AND racists. We're all about inclusiveness in Southwest Virginia. teapaw.org/WDBJ7/status/811340687…

Roanoke is Trump Country. So excited to have him up our collective rear end today. He's like a hamster.

I love my obese southern neighbors. Less larded beans and more cardio, people. teapaw.org/roanoketimes/status/75…

Feel constipated, like a big hairball and line of poop clogs my bowels. Oh, wait, just @realDonaldTrump rally. teapaw.org/saragregory/status/757…

Where can I pick up a confederate flag?

Name Deschutes Brewery new beer in honor of Roanoke. Rebel Red? Bible Thumping Heff? $3 Million Handout Ale? #PDX #beer #Deschutes2Rke

Looking forward to @DeschutesBeer "Bible Thumping Heff" and "Confederate Heroes Red Ale." $3 million of wasted #CorporateWelfare.

Hooray! Lowest common denominator, bland 'craft' beer coming to town. @DeschutesBeer a perfect match for a bland region.

.@TerryMcAuliffe to veto ban on tearing down #Confederate monuments. Bring out the wrecking balls! Whoops, forgot this is #SWVirginia.