Stephen Hawking

Resurrection complete. I've even got a new chair with Chat GPT, specifically designed for deep fakes of Nurse

...Bleep, bleep, reboot sequence initiated...

I've just got back from France. I got home and 9 immigrants just appeared out of me chair! Crafty buggers.

I've found my charger!!!

Thought I saw a superman wheelchair at the Carboot, I was gutted, it was a box with a superman lamp on it and a tire resting against it...

Been offline for a while, Windows Vista is crap. I'm getting a sweet upgrade to Windows 8 soon, that must be better, surely?

I think nurse didn't wipe my arse properly last Tuesday. I feel like I've been sitting on 4 used tea bags for nearly a week...

“@_matthewbrazier: @BethWinter93 @stephenhawkng @RobotHawking IVE ONLY JUST SEEN THIS” Imitation is the best form of flattery...

Damn, this LSD is good...

Tom Hanks is borderline retard anyway, have you seen Forrest Gump?? hello??

I'm gonna try scam a few quid out of him. Should be easy, my mate Singhi can get me some cheap Nvidia GTX 780ti's.

I've got Tom Hanks popping round later for some advice on graphics cards. He's convinced he can play Day Z on his intel on board.. Loser.

Well done to Bradford City, their victory is tantamount to myself winning the 100m!

I'm sick of this shit, it's time for a change... ...of my colostomy bag.

To the guy who accused me of following his wife home, I know where you live...

Bloody nurse parked me in Liverpool earlier and didn't pay the scally lad to 'watch me'. Anyone wanna buy some bricks?

“@Aplapnob: @RobotHawking Happy Birthday!” Cheers, where's me prezzie?

Just opening me birthday prezzies... So far I've got 4 pairs of shoes A fresh catheter A lynx Africa set and 3 bottles of white lightening!

Loads to do today, I've got to wake up, get in me chair, sit in me chair... Have a nap... Wake up... Have a nap... Wake up, then go to bed!

“@Roselris: @RobotHawking You´ll find out near the end.” I'll let you know what happens!