Proud husband, Dad, & Family Guy cutaway enthusiast. Live music is the best. Go Astros, Rockets, Texans, TXST, Arsenal, & Dynamo! BLM 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ Pugs rule!

Katy, TX
Joined July 2010
Some guy called me a “pussy” on my drive to work today. Right now, I am okay. But as someone who lives about 200 miles from where President Kennedy was assassinated, I am fearing for my life
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Giff retweeted
As a former teacher, I never scrubbed in for a gender reassignment surgery, but I did instruct the kids on how to get the window screens off in case of an active shootėr.
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I do not think it’s hyperbolic to say this is one of the greatest Houston Rockets plays of all time.
Is Amen Thompson's block on Wemby one of the greatest Houston Rockets plays of all time? 🔗 Watch the full video: youtu.be/QSX64FxaxSw
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Good morning. It’s October 26th and the Houston Rockets have more wins than the Houston Texans.
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Giff retweeted
Pat McAfee thinking he’s important enough to get assassinated is much funnier than anytime he’s taken his shirt off
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Brian Kelly when he heard the Baylor job was open:
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CPS should be called on parents like this. WTF man?
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That was a great Giants win but also the kind of horrific loss that gets your coach finally fired.
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Burn Reliant Stadium to the ground. Fuck the Texans, fucking embarrassments.
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Always have to stop for a Big O or two when we’re passing through Waco!
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Amen said he could have been better on defense last season. Well he just made the best defensive play of his career!! Ball game. Just an incredible play by Amen
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I can’t wait to send my sister in Santa Cruz a post-Allsups fart.
This is going to get weird
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Route 66 looks better in 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗾𝘂𝗼𝗶𝘀𝗲. #GoLobos
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my homie died a virgin and they had me write his nobitchuary dawg i can't stop cryin
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Since 2013… 1,208 children have been shot at school. 0 children have received gender reassignment surgery at school. We've turned imaginary issues into national emergencies while turning a blind eye to real threats.
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(Takes her by the hand, looks deep into her eyes) Wife: “What’s up? Is everything okay?” Me: “It’s just that…Ever since the day that we met… Wanna get you wet, wanna make you sweat. Wanna make them walls in the room drip with precipitation. Girl, I'm trying to tell you now, we got a situation.” Wife: “I’m leaving you.”
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We didn’t plan this, but #pugsocks
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When the electricity goes out and she’s almost done with the cut.
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Apparently today is National Pug Day! Adam will get spoiled a little extra tonight!
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