Yams

I am at the same time horrible at finding joy but like just random specific shit i like brings me back out like this stupid game

Im out here racin in jorts and tube socks topless yall aint bulit like me

Living out my chud tranny fantasy of death racing half nude

I totally forgot airframe ultra was out thats how fucked my sense of time is but now i have airframe ultra so life is good

Things don’t feel ok but i know its gotten better so ill be happy for that

If i like you please be aware i will eventually do some bullshit like this

My therapist seemed less concerned about it than I was, so that kind of makes me feel better about it that maybe this is a normal feeling for people in my headspace, something that will eventually pass. I just hope it passes soon. I'm so tired; my head can't take much more of it

Everything just blurs together, not like I’m forgetting, but the time is all jumbled up. It feels like I've lived this day out already, each new day pulled from before, and what bothers me most is I feel aware of it but at the same time can't help but think I’m just paranoid.

God she’s literally me fr fr shes complete trash just like me fr fr

Maybe I need to just give up on it with them, not out of lack of want but just feeling more like a problem than anything positive for them. Idk It feels good taking the time to type this junk out, though.

The more I think about how I am, the more I realize I’m just currently unfit to engage in any meaningful connection with people. I want it desperately, but I don't seem to be able to without hurting them. I need to realize I out here on my own.

💕

Also go vote if my dumb depressed ass can drag myself to the polls so can you

I think I’m trying to understand the making of a connection in an unhealthy way. "How do I do it?" "How can I recreate it?" but it cannot be mimicked; it just happens, and now that it seems I'm capable of it again, I am horribly afraid I'm doing it "wrong," but I'll enjoy it.