Life is short| live it | experience it | enjoy it | showing up everyday | Be passionate about something! | Here for @matchain_io
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Joined December 2013
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Attention Ladies.
Here is my best dating advice for you.
1 - Take out that nose ring. Itβs not hot or cute. A good man will see it as a retard alarm and run.
2 - Stop getting tattoos. Men want women. Not pirates.
3 - Thatβs really awesome that you met Gigachad on a dating site and he got all up in that. Youβll be telling this story as the highlight of your life for the next fifty years. But Gigachad isnβt calling back. Gigachad treats women like snacks because heβs Gigachad. Stop waiting for Gigachad.
4 - All that Disney Princess stuff was bullshit. We live in a Democracy.
5 - If your dating profile reads like the non negotiable demands of a bank robber, only a retard will answer. Yes we know you think you deserve a billionaire with a giant penis and the muscles of a Greek god but ngl, that dude would have used his money to find you by now if he wanted you.
6 - Close that Onlyfans account immediately. Your vagina is not a billion dollar industry. Goddamn, Disney really blew all your egos up with that princess shit.
7 - The patriarchy isnβt oppressing you by expecting you to do basic housework. You need to clean up after yourself so your place doesnβt get condemned.
8 - All your friends telling you that your bf gives them the ick will date him behind your back if you dump him.
9 - The patriarchy isnβt oppressing you when youβre expected to cook. Humans have to eat. Learn how to make sandwiches.
10 - Dudes who collect GI joes have huge weiners
Attention Young Men:
I am surrounded by 20 year old girls in my life that are smart, capable, hard working and cute. Nobody is dating them. Not sure what the deal is, but I donβt get it.
Step 1: Stop playing video games
Step 2: Head to great clips and get that lettuce cleaned up
Step 3: Hit a shower (when dating hygiene is critical)
Step 4: Go clean your car
Step 5: Sign up for a yoga class
Step 6: Go to the yoga class
Step 7: Ask a cute for her phone number at yoga class (yes you can meet girls IRL and not just on the apps - 10/10 the Dirt Dog highly recommends)
Step 8: Follow up within 2 days with a phone call and ask them out for this coming weekend Friday or Saturday night.
Step 9: IMPORTANT - come up with a good game plane for date night. Get a dinner reservation, get an activity planned. Let them know in advance what you are doing so they can dress appropriately. I know you are gunna roll off the couch and head to date night, but they are not. They are going to stress about what to wear and call at least 6 different people on FaceTime to ask their opinion.
Step 10: I highly recommend you bring flowers to the door step. Iβm not covering that you go to the doorstep, because if you donβt do that you have no hope here. Women want men to date them. You donβt need to break the bank on flowers. Head to Trader Joeβs. Grab 2 different kinds of flowers. If you donβt know what matches find the closest looking lady to your mom at TJβs and ask her. Wrap the 2 flowers into 1 bouquet with paper. Bonus Points you can cut open a TJ bag and use that as the paper.
Step 11: Be a gentleman on the date. She isnβt there to hear your life story. Ask her about her. For every 1 question you answer, ask her 3. Open Doors, pay for the meal, be polite.
Provided you follow most of this guideline you are highly likely to get yourself an opportunity for date number 2.
Keep going until you find someone that you canβt imagine not being around all the time. Thatβs when you have found a good one for you.
My life is complete with my wife as my companion. I wish you the same fortune in life. Happy Hunting.
As a high ranking member of the Misogynistic Association of Nigeria {M.A.N} Asaba chapter, The board has decided to place you on a 2 week suspension active immediately. ur matter has been reported to the National body pending further investigation. Our hearts are with all Men who
Had to experience wat happened at that hospital yesterday. We pray no Man has to be put through such ordeal again and will be taking very active measures to ensure dat such occurence never repeats itself again.
#Men_blood_belongs_to_ men
#Menfirst
#date who can donate blood for u
So disappointed in this girl. So females don't listen to music too? Aren't there even more females than males in the world??
What's it with always looking for ways to blame men??
βItβs harder for female artists to blow. Female artists arenβt measured by talent but by what they wear. If your tummy isnβt flatβ¦ itβs never really about the music; itβs more about peopleβs sexual desires or their fantasies about you. And I think that right there is a problem, because it becomes more about how decently you are dressed before people listen to you. But when it comes to men, they arenβt held to that same standard. When it comes to performances, female artists perform better.β
β Singer Fave
The plain truth is that somebody must "carry" that burden, so I ask...who is it supposed to be?
The babies often make that choice themselves and not funny enough, it's always the same choice 100% everytime.
It takes two people to make kids, so what I'll never understand is why the mothers are so often the ones expected to sacrifice their sleep, career, money, body, freedom and entire life.
But when the dad does the smallest thing they get praised for helping out with basic parenting like they just did a big job.
"You making all of us who played the game look like we lack home training"
Sheba comes down hard on Temi. Tram intervenes.
#BBNaija
"Punch me, i dare you"
Araga and Sultex go head to head.
House on Fireπ₯
#BBNaija
Big Brother intervenes
Serious chaos in the house as Martins is called to the dairy room.
1st strike incoming??
#BBNaija
Godessa, Mercedes, Martins and Chisom all pissed at Temi for spoiling the game and calling them "idiots"
#BBNaija
In your f***king life, don't come at me
Martins to Temi
#BBNaija
Mathew 3:14
When Jesus approached him, John recognized Jesus's sinless nature.
This is the closest we have to the baptism of Jesus.
I kinda agree with the Americans here. A soccer team of 10 pure running and bashing athletes with just one superstar who knows how to kick a ball might just cook.
Argentina is proof of that.
Everytime Americans imagine their NFL & NBA players in soccer, its always with their exact body build, yet not one of that same build can be found in the national team. Isn't it clear?
