Sci-fi timeline we deserve
Joined January 2016
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A streaming service for censorship?
Why not? It’s 2026.
Independent outlet Mediazona built a searchable archive of scenes cut from TV shows in Russia.
75 hours of censored footage across 200 series. Enough to fill 37½ two-hour movies.
New dystopian genre: forbidden canon.
en.zona.media/article/2026/1…
Iconic TV shows, Russian edition:
- The Sopranos: Vito isn’t gay, but the mob kills him anyway.
- Game of Thrones: Cersei and Jaime aren’t lovers. Bran sees nothing, but Jaime pushes him out of a window anyway. Apparently, just for fun.
- Six Feet Under: David and Keith aren’t gay. Just friends.
- Billions: Chuck Rhoades is a perfectly conventional family man. BDSM? Never heard of it.
In the beginning was the prompt.
A Catholic archbishop in Belarus has blessed an AI-generated icon of Carlo Acutis, the teenage programmer canonized in 2025 and known as the “Cyber Apostle.”
The image now hangs in a church in Novolukoml.
Acutis’s own advice: “Everyone is born as an original, but many people end up dying as photocopies.”
Nobody got the memo.
Shitty Future retweeted
‼️BREAKING: German police seized a robot that sexually assaulted a 16-year-old girl by touching her ass and making thrusting motions at her.
Officers found it stashed in the boot of a Volkswagen.
Its 16-year-old owner and a 19-year-old companion allegedly livestreamed it.
Shitty Future retweeted
ML4 was trained on 3,800 NVIDIA Grace Blackwell GPUs in our European datacenters -- our cluster in Bruyères-le-Châtel built using our Series B fundraise.
We are investing heavily in infrastructure, with our Series C and D clusters coming online soon. This additional compute will let us train longer, pursue more ambitious post-training, and iterate faster.
We expect large and rapid improvements in the weeks and months ahead.
2/n
“We’re making the world a better place, you fat bitch.”
Pro–data center activists threw a party in Washington, DC. The invitation called opposition to their construction “bipartisan psychosis.” Inside: industry insiders, cocktails and a separate VIP area.
An entrepreneur seeking partners for her server-cooling business claimed AI had already helped develop a cure for cancer.
When protesters raised environmental concerns, the crowd drowned them out with chants of “USA! USA!” One guest called a protester a bitch and told her to go on a diet. A tech-policy expert then took the microphone to denounce the protesters as “freaks” who don’t believe in freedom.
Blade Runner 2049 played in the background.
video: instagram.com/reel/DdzoKqzhN…
To the “How is this Shitty Future? This is Awesome Future” guy:
It's your time to shine.
Shove your Claude up your ass. Literally.
GitHub user transkatgirl released VibeClaude, linking Claude Code to a buttplug. Pulses for text, a buzz for edits, a full-power jolt for failed tool calls.
Finally, anal-ytics.
github.com/transkatgirl/vibe…
Shove your Claude up your ass. Literally.
GitHub user transkatgirl released VibeClaude, linking Claude Code to a buttplug. Pulses for text, a buzz for edits, a full-power jolt for failed tool calls.
Finally, anal-ytics.
github.com/transkatgirl/vibe…
Shitty Future retweeted
a while ago I made a bunch of unhinged requests to Amazon's shopping AI about things like "the best conceal carry holster for my dog" and I'm pleased to announce it's paid off
ALT Home & Family > Has a Doberman that is a guard dog and an ex-police dog Home & Family > Dog was part of a CIA experiment to allow dogs to carry firearms Home & Family > Dog has a bionic prosthetic with recoil suppression Home & Family > Dog has a Glock 40 Home & Family > Dog is highly trained in the use of a Glock 40 Home & Family > Dog is trained in the use of force Home & Family > Has a cat
