Wrong side of 50 - Right side of not giving a damn. Politically homeless. Media approved expert advice taken with a healthy pinch of FO

Joined December 2021
It's Bake Off and pastry week... So, I've made peach and caramel tart with sweet almond pastry. Custard AND cream option available 馃構
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I took the grandkids to the zoo yesterday and we went to visit the meerkats. I must confess, I was pretty disappointed. They know f**k all about insurance! Morning all! 馃榿
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I do like asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Mainly because I'm still looking for ideas! Morning all 馃榿 Nice morning after the stormy weather over the weekend.
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My husband has always carried a photo of me in his wallet. 馃挅 He says it reminds him why there's no money in there! Morning all 馃榿x
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How on earth do people manage to lose their kids in shopping centres? Seriously?? It's half term and I could do with some suggestions! 馃槈 Morning all 馃榿x
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I don't mean to brag... but in my youth, I once got to passionately kiss Johnny Depp. It was amazing 馃グ Mind you, it got me thrown out of Madame Tussauds too. Morning all x
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In honour of Bake Off... I present homemade sticky toffee pud, with homemade custard and ice cream (sadly not homemade!)
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Yesterday, I confidently told my husband that there was water in the carburettor in my car. He asked me how on earth I'd come to that conclusion! "Because I've accidentally driven into the pond," was my response! Morning all 馃榿x
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Heads up folks. If any of you have a person arrive at your front door claiming to be a doctor doing a medical check for ticks and then asking you to strip naked and dance about... IT'S A SCAM. Don't do it! I feel so silly now! Morning all 馃榿x
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Back in time at Beamish Living Museum. Have a great weekend all x
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Someone told me that men enjoy having their earlobes nibbled. But apparently, not whilst they're driving. And they don't know you. And the bus is crowded. Morning all! 馃榿x
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The kids were complaining about the cost of living yesterday. 拢18 for a roast. Another 拢5 if you want extra cauliflower cheese. 拢8 for a simple pud. Then there's the cost of a glass of wine! Had to reply, "Sorry kids. My house, my rules." Morning all 馃榿x
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Packing away my summer clothes yesterday and I sorted out a large bag of bits that I was donating to charity. My husband told me to just bin it, so I had to remind him that people were starving in this world. He said anyone fitting my clothes isnt starving. Morning all 馃榿x
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My last relationship ended because my partner expected me to open the car door for HIM!! Well I didn't. Instead I swam straight up to the surface. Morning all! 馃榿x
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My son Luke always loved the fact that I named him after one of my favourite Star Wars characters. My daughter, Chewbacca, not quite so much. Morning all! 馃槈x
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There are Wagon Wheels... and there are Shoolie's Wagon Wheels! All ready for Bake Off! 馃榿 #GBBO
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I'll never forget my old granddad's last words to me. "Stop shaking the ladder, you little shit" Morning all! 馃榿x
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I remember as a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Having just received my electricity bill, I'm now afraid of the light! Morning all 馃榿x
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I'm not saying that the neighbour's grandkid is ugly... but every time he plays in their sandpit, my cat nips over and tries burying him. Morning all! 馃榿
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I was only 2 minutes into my run this morning when I realised I'd forgotten something... I'd forgotten I was unfit and can't run! Morning all 馃榿x (Out by the light of the silvery moon this morning)
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