Signed, the Dog

This is my last post. I'm chasing frogs around the great fishpond in the sky now. R.I.P. Me. --signed, the dog. j.mp/zjMkEX

"Because it's like chewing on a bone and a drink of water at the same time! THAT'S why I like ice cubes so much" --signed the dog.

"Yes, of course I want some kibble. And don't call me Shirley!" --signed, the dog.

Oh. I'm a real _smart feller_. Sorry. I thought you said something else. --signed, the dog.

PFFFFFT.... --dealt the dog.... Smellt by the human B-(

I may breathe like Darth Vader, but I'm no good with a light saber. No thumbs. --signed the dog.

I'm not snoring. I'm growling in my sleep. --signed, the dog.

Don’t call me slow. I just make different time-choices. –signed, the dog. (The slow one.)

I’m not over-excited, you’re UNDER-excited, so ramp it up, two-legs! –signed, the dog.

Of COURSE I’m not a-scared of no thunderstorm… I’m just sitting on your foot in case YOU’RE a-scared. –signed, the dog.

"And you will know me by the trail of poop". –signed, the dog.

You’re up because I’m up, that’s why you’re up. Any more questions, morning-breath? –signed, the dog.

No, I wasn't "saving it up", I was just waiting for the storm to end. I hate to poop in the rain. --signed, the dog.

I chew, therefore I am… If it falls to the floor, it’s MINE! –signed, the dog.

I just went 0-for-4 in the Table Scrap Toss event. I’m a disgrace to my race. –signed, the dog.

Actually, I’m dribbling. Not drooling. There IS a difference you know. Dribbling has a much lower saliva content. –signed, the dog.

♫ Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me ♫ --signed, the dog.

You can call me an ungrateful cur all you like, I’m not going to love you any less. Lick, lick. –signed, the dog.

I’ll pee when I’m ready to pee, and when I find the perfect spot. Telling me "hurry up" is not going help either of us. –signed, the dog.

Dude, it was a CAT, I had to try. It’s what I do. That arm should pop right back in the socket. –signed, the dog.