Bookmaker in the north of England, oldest looking but best banter in the #Cairnbet team, happiest when racing.

Joined December 2010
Simon Oxendale retweeted
My daughter is fund raising for an expedition to India. It's self funded, she is doing lots of local fund raising but for you lovely folk who can't pop along & buy her cakes we have a Go Fund Me if you can spare a few quid and/or a retweet! Thanks so much gofund.me/95cbc9648
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If memes answered all the important questions for this weekend… See ya tommora and Saturday 👋
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Day 2 @Ascot betting blog now up. We open a new R&D department specially for our new found punter's guru and favourites go in with monotonous regularity - but did our system save us? Enjoy andystallard1967.wixsite.com…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
ICYMI betting blog from @Ascot from yesterday. I share a room with 5 blokes and they all snore. It's a race against time and gall bladder to make it and we sort of get done on a name. Something to digest with your cornflakes andystallard1967.wixsite.com…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
It’s @macmillancancer charity race day @yorkracecourse today. As per usual I’ll be betting on the race and giving all the profit to Macmillan. My prices won’t be big but I’ve raised thousands for the charity.
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Thomas Tuchel after sabotaging that England squad
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The seventh would pay £7. The eighth would pay £12. The ninth would pay £18. And the tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.  So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every week and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until, one day, the owner caused them a little problem. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your weekly beer by £20.” Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free but what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33, but if they subtracted that from everybody’s share then not only would the first four men still be drinking for free but the fifth and sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.  So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fairer to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage. They decided to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay. And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (a 100% saving). The sixth man now paid £2 instead of £3 (a 33% saving). The seventh man now paid £5 instead of £7 (a 28% saving). The eighth man now paid £9 instead of £12 (a 25% saving). The ninth man now paid £14 instead of £18 (a 22% saving). And the tenth man now paid £49 instead of £59 (a 16% saving).  Each of the last six was better off than before with the first four continuing to drink for free.  But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got £1 out of the £20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got £10!“  “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a £1 too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”  “That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get £10 back, when I only got £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”  “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!” The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.  The next week the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important – they didn’t have enough money between all of them to pay for even half of the bill!  And that’s how it works. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy and they just might not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.  For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Day 1 betting blog from Royal Ascot up. The only preamble of the week but it's a good one as Kevin gets sausage agitation, Simon takes on the sockless brigade and CairnBet give out some ill deserved promotions. andystallard1967.wixsite.com…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Ticket prices for Windsor Encl significantly lower than last year and much cheaper than other enclosures. Thursday likely to sell out and Friday may as well I would guess. A fantastic day out at a great price... and you get to come and see us as well 😁
🎉 The Windsor Enclosure is now SOLD OUT for Royal Ascot Saturday! Availability is looking very limited across a number of the other days and enclosures too - so now's the time to act! #RoyalAscot
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Betting blog from Newcastle. Necessarily short with time constraints, exhaustion & betting apathy in the ring. We find time to hear the greatest description of each way in the history of the world tho. And we make spider gags. For completionists only andystallard1967.wixsite.com…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Aintree/Newcy betting blog up. We're all things Radiohead, @Siox87 picks right & I pick wrong despite thinking the reverse, more gags than a Tim Vine gig & we are frozen in place for the 2nd time in 3 wks. I'm not one for self promos but it's a good one! andystallard1967.wixsite.com…
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𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐏𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐚𝐠𝐞! In our mission to make racing even more affordable to all, we've gone one step further ahead of our Season Opener. 1 x General Admission ticket Race Card Voucher Pie & Pint Voucher bit.ly/NOTAdv
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One of the BEST rounds EVER?! 😱 Round 6 between Joshua Buatsi and Callum Smith was one to remember 🔥 #BuatsiSmith x #BeterbievBivol2 | #RiyadhSeason
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Windsor Enclosure at @Ascot for the Royal meeting cheaper than it’s been for years! And you get to bet with us, you lucky people! These prices are valid until 28 March. See you there. Bring Prosecco…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
And whilst we’re in the spirit of cheap tickets, @AintreeRaces half a half price offer for Thursday/Friday going on as well! I don’t think it’s on the general site so you need a click through discount. This one was working last time I checked leicestermercury.co.uk/sport…
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Beep Beep 🚙 If you’re coming to @yorkracecourse on Saturday, the A1/A64 junction will be closed ⬇️
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Watch City Of Troy burn clear 🔥 Ride with Durezza and @christo68914587 in the Juddmonte International and watch the race unfold from the jockey’s view @yorkracecourse @netkeiba | @JRA_WorldRacing | @YorkshireRacing
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Fantastic way to get involved VERY CHEAP
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Simon Oxendale retweeted
Local Radio commentary of our favourite cricket clip of the weekend.
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