Smith Kalu

Sometimes we focus so much on the big things we expect, that we miss the little things our partner is already doing. Gratitude shouldn't wait for special occasions. The little things matter too. 🤍

So before you say something, ask yourself: How are they going to interpret this? How can I say this so they will understand?

While you may apologise for what you said, the apology doesn't always erase the hurt. Amara said sorry later, but that didn't immediately take away the hurt caused by her words.

Your intention might not be to hurt the other person, but that doesn't stop them from getting hurt. Anger can make you say something that you'll regret afterwards. It takes self-awareness to recognise your errors in such situations.

But do you know that not every word that comes to your mind deserves to be released from your mouth? Words are like bullets. Once released, they can't be called back. You could be right but fail to express yourself in the best possible way.

Sometimes, you want to "say your mind." At that moment, you don't care what you say. What matters is that you say it anyway. You're pissed and have already had enough. Whatever you say at this moment seems justifiable.

All she wanted was for him to say, “Welcome back. Let me help you.” Instead, she said, “You just sit at home all day doing nothing.” Amara knew what she needed but didn't know how to ask for it. That's where the problem lies.

“So I do nothing all day?” That was all Jonathan said. Amara didn’t mean it that way. She was tired. She had just walked in from work, and he was still on the couch, scrolling on his phone. Dishes in the sink. Clothes scattered around.

Nothing beats making God the center. Beyond your own efforts, you need His wisdom, direction and strength to grow stronger together. Have you made room for His presence today?

So, when next you have an argument with your partner, consider what matters most: Proving that you're right or finding a way both of you can understand each other.

Not at all. The aim is to take responsibility for your part and calm the tension. You can go ahead to discuss the matter afterwards and address what went wrong. God wants us to live peacefully with one another, and these two words, "I'm sorry" can strengthen your relationship.

Through this, you learn more about your partner and make efforts to prevent similar triggers from causing the same kind of argument in the future. You might be asking: Should I carry all the blame?

Sometimes, you end up pointing out each other's wrongs without examining yourself, where you went wrong, or what you could have done better. The result of misunderstandings should be to bring understanding to each other, not to produce a winner.

One thing to note is that arguments shouldn't be a competition to determine a winner. It's not a debate about whose opinion is right or wrong. If every argument becomes a competition to win, it will not strengthen the relationship. Rather, it will bring strife.

However, do you know that a genuine "I'm sorry" can help end all the back-and-forth? Yes, it may seem like a difficult thing to say, especially when you're upset and you feel you're not in the wrong.

When the argument is heated and she seems not to be listening, while he also seems not to understand, the cycle has to be broken. You know what most people do? - Throw words at each other. - Bring up past mistakes - Go silent on each other for days. - Or even break up.

Saying "I'm sorry" is one of the toughest things to say, especially when you feel you're not in the wrong. Yet, it can be a powerful way to ease tension and break the cycle of an argument.

You stand your ground, wanting them to see where they went wrong, while they cling to your mistake. And before you know it, a small argument becomes a battle of egos. At this point, someone has to yield, but who?

Arguments should bring understanding, not produce winners. Sometimes, you're so focused on making your partner admit they're wrong that you forget you're supposed to be on the same team.